Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Filling the Black Hole

(this has been building in me for a while, so pull up a chair, it’s a long one...)


"There's a new sheriff in town… and his name is Reggie Hammond."



Ok, in this case it’s Reggie McKenzie.
But in less than 48 Hours, the Raiders new General Manager.
The Raiders FIRST General Manager.
Has this team closer to a Super Bowl than we have been since Clinton was President.
I realize that just using the words RAIDERS and SUPER BOWL in the same blog can get me arrested.
But as a diehard Raiders fan, I haven’t been this excited about the Silver and Black in many years.
Now let me take a giant step backwards.
Which is where this organization has been headed for the last decade.
Al Davis was a GREAT leader.
GREAT.
WAS.
Past tense.
I’m not suggesting that the game passed him by.
I don’t believe that for a minute.
What I do believe is that having 82-year dictator single-handedly running anything is a bad thing.
Are you listening North Korea?
Are you listening Penn State?
Al Davis cared more about the Raiders than any human being.
There is no disputing that.
But that doesn’t mean he always made the right decisions.
When Mr. Davis hired Hue Jackson as the Head Coach last year, I guarantee he felt he was making the right decision.
Just like he did when he hired Tom Cable.
And Lane Kiffin.
And Art Shell... again.
And Norval Turner.
(I love it that he called him Norval.)
And Bill Callahan.
Six coaches in 10 years.
A barista at Starbucks has better job security than that.
But one-by-one, the honeymoon ended.
And so did their job.
Unfortunately Mr. Davis is no longer with us.
And now little Mr. Davis, his son Mark, is running the team.
This week Mini Davis made his first real decision as the new man in town.
And it was a great decision.
He hired a General Manager.
To run the team.
He hired a football man to make football decisions.
What a concept.
He hired Reggie McKenzie.
A former Raiders player, who has been working in the Green Bay Packers front office for 18 years.
The Green Bay Packers.
You may have heard of them.
Before the ink was dry on Reggie’s contract.
Rumors started swirling that the new sheriff wasn’t such a big fan of coach Hue Jackson.
Join the club.
Today it became official.
Hue Jackson fired.
After one year.
One mediocre, underachieving, frustrating, awful year.
Now I must say, as someone who has been “fired” twice.
In the last few years.
That’s not a word I celebrate.
I didn’t understand the word divorce.
Until I got married.
I didn’t understand the word death.
Until my father died.
And I definitely had no concept of the word fired.
Until it happened it to me.
Losing a job is never a good thing.
But when it comes to public figures, and all the money they usually make.

Somehow it seems easier to say.
The good news here is that Hue Jackson will get another job.
Probably soon.
Probably with a team that will face the Raiders.

Hue's sudden dismissal has nothing to do with the fact that he likes the weekly manicure and pedicure.
I'm good with that.

The bottom line is he was the wrong guy.

At the wrong time.

To take this team to another level.

Sure, that’s easy to say now.
After choking away the division.
After losing a must-win game at home to a San Diego team that had nothing to play for.
After blowing a 13-point lead to a Detroit team, at home, with under five minutes left.
After not showing up in Miami for a game with the hapless Dolphins.
After losing back-to-back games at home to the pathetic Chiefs and the Tebow-thetic Broncos.
But the truth here is that I knew Hue Jackson was the wrong man for the job all the way back in Week 3.
When we won.
I remember the camera cutting to a shot of Jackson late in the game.
On the sideline.
As the Jets were driving for a score.
Jackson was waving his arms in the air like he was auditioning for Will Ferrell’s cheerleading character on SNL.
Ok, the first time I saw the shot, I did think...
“How cool.  The coach is pumping up the crowd.”
But moments later, when he was doing it again.
And again.
I was like... 
“Dude, you are the coach.  Not a Raiderette.”
“COACH SOMETHING.”
By some unlikely Raider luck, we actually won that game.
But over the next four months we all got a taste of Jackson’s overinflated character.
And overflowing ego.
Overshadowing any good that he had done.
He came in saying that he wanted to build a bully.
Good role model.
Well his team responded.
By becoming the most penalized team in NFL history.
HIS-TOR-Y.
Most penalties in a season.
Ever.
Most penalty yards in a season.
Ever.
The bully mentality.
Be careful what you wish for.
If you believe penalties are a good thing, you didn’t watch the BCS Championship game last night.
Did you see Nick Saban’s face turn crimson-red when his Alabama team got its first penalty of the game?
Late in the fourth quarter.
Up 21-0.
I thought he was going to kill someone.
Hue Jackson’s ego kicked in again at the NFL trade deadline.
With Mr. Davis just laid to rest.
Jackson was calling all the shots in Oakland.
And he decided that overpaying for a 31-year-old semi-retired quarterback was the right move to make.
Now I must say, I was very impressed with Carson Palmer.
At times.
And I really don’t hate that trade.
And I am excited about this quarterback of the past being our quarterback of the future.
But it’s amazing that Jackson didn’t tear his ACL by making that knee-jerk trade.
We didn’t need to do it.
And we we certainly didn’t need to mortgage the future for a guy who was spending his days walking on the beach.
But we did.
Maybe Jackson thought he was starring in the remake of Heaven Can Wait.
Palmer tried to make the best of it.
But in the end, the Raiders fell short.
Not Hue Jackson.
The Raiders.
If you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe him.
These were his words immediately after we lost that season-ending home game to the Chargers.
“I’m pissed at my team.”
“I’m pissed at my team because when you have those kind of opportunities, you’ve got to do it and we didn’t do it.”
“I’m not making no more excuses for nobody.”
Aside from a personal foul for flubbing the english language -- and who am I to talk.
"Not making no more excuses for nobody."
Really?
YOU ARE THE COACH.
YOU ARE THE LEADER.
YOU ARE THE BOSS.
YOU ARE WE.
Jackson capped off his news conference with a statement that finally made some sense.

And proved to be quick prophetic.
“I know one thing, this team needs an attitude adjustment.”
Now you’re onto something Hue.
I think we just got one.

Rise up Raider Nation.










Monday, January 9, 2012

Oops, He Did It Again

This Friday I will be having lunch at a Mexican restaurant.
1:00pm.
I don’t usually plan that far ahead.
But this Friday has been on my calendar for six months.
Unfortunately.
Friday is the day that I will be paying off a debt.
You see at the beginning of the NFL season I made a bet with a friend.
If my Raiders won the AFC West, he would buy me lunch.
If his Broncos won the AFC West, I would buy him lunch.
If neither team won the West.
Which seemed the most likely at the time.
We would go Dutch.
Well, we’d go Mexican, but each of us would pay.
Five games into the season, the Raiders had a winning record.
The Broncos had just one win.
Thanks to Tim Tebow that feels like a million years ago.
If you need me to recap what Tebow has done over the last 12 weeks, you’ve probably already stopped reading this blog.
The bottom line is Tebow and the rest of the Broncos will be playing a game next weekend.
While 24 other teams will not.
Including the Raiders.
Call it luck.
Call it faith.
Call it laith.
Call it fu...
Call it whatever you want, but Tim Tebow is a playoff winning quarterback.
Period.
And because of it he’s 250 geez richer.
You see Tebow gets a quarter mil for every playoff game the Broncos win.
As long as he played in most of it.
That’s on top of the eight mil he already got during the year.
So even with all the criticism he gets, don’t feel too bad for young Timmy.
But still.
Everybody but his mother thinks that he’s a joke.

Did you watch the halftime show?
The Broncos were winning 20-6.
You would’ve thought they were losing by 9000.
These ex-jock super geniuses gave Tebow exactly zero credit for leading this game.
Well Shannon Sharpe might’ve given Tebow credit, but I can’t understand a word he says.
By the end of the first half, Tebow had thrown for one touchdown.

And run for another.
The first Broncos quarterback (not named Elway) to do that in a playoff game.
But instead of praising Tebow, CBS expert Norman Esiason said...
“But can he do it again in the second half?”
Now this is the same Norman who averaged 150 passing yards in his six career playoff games.
Tebow did that in the first half of his.
In fact, he threw for 185 yards before the break.
In double fact, Tebow completed four passes of at least 30 yards in the second quarter.
That’s the first time in NFL Playoff History.
HIS-TOR-Y.
That a quarterback has done that in one quarter.
Tom Brady didn’t do it.
Peyton Manning didn’t do it.
Dan Marino didn’t do it.
And Norman Esiason certainly didn’t do it.
But instead of praising Tebow, Norman was still trying to tear him down.
And it wasn’t the first time.
Just five months ago Norman said this about Tebow:
“He can’t play.  He can’t throw.  I’m not here to insult him.”
REALLY?
“The reality is he was a great college football player... but he’s not an NFL quarterback right now.”

HOW ABOUT NOW NORMAN!
“Just because he’s God-fearing and a great person off the field... doesn’t mean his game is going to translate to the NFL.”
TELL THAT TO KURT WARNER.
“If he wanted to marry my daughter, I’d be happy as hell.  But I wouldn’t want him to be my starting quarterback.”
TOO BAD.
For a few nervous moments in the second half, it looked like Norman and the rest of the CBS crew might get their way.
But it was a fumble by Tebow’s teammate, Willis McGahee.
And not a turnover by Tebow that turned this game around.
But even with the Steelers coming back, it was Tebow’s arm that sent the Broncos fans home with a smile.

And sent the Steelers home for the rest of the winter.
A 15-yard strike, which turned into an 80-yard touchdown.
An 80-yard overtime game winning playoff touchdown. 
Tim Tebow stood toe-to-toe with the great Ben Roethlisberger Sunday afternoon in Denver.
And he beat him.
Well Tim's Broncos beat Ben’s Steelers.
But you get the point.
You can blame it on Ben’s overinflated left ankle.
Or the Steelers overinflated list of injuries.
Or the altitude.
Or the horoscope.
Or the whatever you want.
Bottom line.
Broncos-29, Steelers-23.
And this is a Raiders fan talking.
And believe you me this was a painful game to watch.
My heart said screw the Broncos.
My head said, RUN FOREST RUN.
The last thing I want to see is the Broncos win.
Especially with a team that uses more smoke and mirrors than shoulder pads.
Honestly, I’m not even sure this Broncos team could beat Alabama.
But what I do know is that they beat the Steelers.
And next week, they have a chance to beat the Patriots.
Ok, they have NO chance to beat the Patriots.
Or do they?





Thursday, January 5, 2012

Block Party


So where was I?
Oh yes.
Writing a blog.
Nearly two weeks ago.
Unfortunately it’s been that long since I hit the giant publish button at sirbacon123.com.
And boy have I really missed it.
Forget reading and arithmetic.
Writing is my favorite of the big three.
I could blame it on a bunch of things.
The holidays.
The kids winter break.
The this.
The that.
And true, all of those things have chipped in.
But the real truth is that for the last few weeks I’ve been living right in the heart of Writer’s Block.
At this very second, there are close to a dozen blogs just sitting on my desktop.
A dozen unfinished blogs.
Unfinished being the key word.
Blogs about my TiVo.
Blogs about Howard Stern.
Blogs about the Dollar Store.
The Vacuum Store.
The game of telephone.
Osama Bin Laden.
Do you see any connections there?
You do?
I don’t.
Right now I have more half-empty thoughts going through my head than Paris Hilton.
And that’s saying something.
As the great philosopher Bruce once said, I’ve got 57 channels.
And nothin’s on.
This is hardly the first time that I haven’t been able to complete a thought.
But it is the first time in a while.
And to be honest, it’s got me a bit freaked out.
After all, I am nothing without my words.
Even if I don’t punctuate them properly.
This little outlet called Sir Bacon has been a paradise for me.
Not always paradise.
But A paradise.
A place to disappear for a while.
A place to release the inner me.
A place to let it all go.
Everybody needs one of those.
For some it’s a bar.
Or a pool hall.
Or a Golden Corral .
For me, it’s my writing.
And unfortunately it’s been 12 whole days since I wrote my last blog.
Better known as The 12 days of Blisslessness.
I could blame it on a lack of time.
But that would be a lie.
I could blame it on a lack of stories.
Lie.
I guess I could blame it just on.... IT.
After all, IT happens.
And lately IT has been happening to me.
But just 347 words into this here blog, I can feel the blood in my fingers again.
And that’s a good feeling.
My writing is my castle.
And with the new year now here, I’m looking forward to a new beginning.
Another new beginning.
With new stories.
And new readers.
And new words.
Isn’t that why we all make new year’s resolutions?
Well this time my resolution is to start writing again.
NOW!
Do not fear Bacon lovers.
I still have a lot to say.
I just haven’t been able to say it.
A few days ago I tried writing about a weird dream I had.
A real dream.
Real weird.
I made it to 219 words.
Then stopped.
Then I tried writing about a weird story I heard.
A true story.
About a BIGTIME star athlete.
Who recently got in a plane crash.
But he doesn’t want anyone to know.
So nobody knows.
Except for me.
And the person that told me.
And the person who told him.
But I couldn’t find the right way to seal that story.
Or if that was even the right story to seal.
So I didn’t.
New Year’s Day marked the beginning of the third year of Sir Bacon.
280 blogs so far.
Probably an average of 650 words per blog.
My calculator app just told me that 182,000 words.
Catcher In the Rye has less than half of that.
And it took J.D. Salinger nine years to write that book.
12 days is nothing.
It’s good to be home.