Chicken Fight

There’s a great little coffee shop down the street from where we live.

It’s actually more diner than coffee shop.

But when it comes to smothered breakfast burritos, there is none better.

At least there was none better.

Six years ago.

The last time I went.

Nothing against the food, but something much bigger than the burrito has made me stay away.

No, not Jenny Craig.

Something much more divine.

I didn’t notice it the first time I went.

Or maybe the second.

But eventually I picked up that this place was more Jerry Falwell than Jerry’s Deli.

More Robert Schuller than Bob Evans.  

Every waiter was wearing a tie.

A tie with a bunch of crosses on it.

The pictures were not pictures.

They were pictures of scriptures.

And the music was not songs of Faith Hill.

Just songs of faith.

Hey I’ve got nothing against faith.

Or Faith Hill.

Nothing against scriptures.

And I certainly have nothing against smothered breakfast burritos.

But from my side of the tracks, there’s just no mixing church and steak.

And when I finally picked up that this was more a worship house than a Waffle House, I had to pull the plug.

As painful as that was.

Hey I’m a big believer in religion.

Whatever religion.

If it works for you.

For me, not so much.

Oh, I believe in God.

And I believe in believing.

But this organized religion stuff just isn’t for me.

Not in schools.

Not in politics.

And definitely not in restaurants.

Maybe that’s why this Chick-fil-A controversy has really made me sick to my stomach.

If you’ve been hiding for the last few weeks, let me get you caught up.

Dan Cathy is the President of Chick-fil-A.

Chick-fil-A is a fast-food chain.

A Christian-based fast-food chain.

So Christian, they close on Sundays.

So Christian, Cathy recently did an interview with some newspaper called the Biblical Recorder.

In that interview the subject of marriage came up.

More specifically, gay marriage.

And Cathy said this:

“We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit.  We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.”

“We intend to stay the course.  We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”

That interview came two weeks after he said this on a radio show about the same subject:

"I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, 'We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.  I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about."

Now whether you believe what Cathy is saying or not.

And I definitely do not.

That’s not the issue.

The issue is that instead of asking me if I want fries with that.

He is telling me how other people should live their lives.

He is telling me... and you... that no matter what makes you happy, if you are not playing by his rules, you can’t play.


Not to mention that Chick-fil-a has donated millions of dollars to anti-gay organizations, who shockingly oppose same-sex marriage.


Organizations, "whose primary focus is to dehumanize LGPT people and to pass laws that treat us as second-class citizens."


This according to "Equality Florida", an advocacy group for the gay community in ... Florida.


Ok... here’s the deal.

Does Cathy have the right to say what he said?

Absolutely.

The same way I have the right to get my fried chicken at KFC.

Or Popeye’s.

Or Church’s.

Uh... bad example.

I’ve been to Chick-Fil-A before.

Many times before.

But I won’t be going again.

I swear.

No matter how spicy that Spicy Chicken Deluxe Sandwich is.

Or how waffly those Waffle Fries are.

I don’t care how many times you deep fry my nuggets.

I’m not going.

Not even when you bring back that unbelievable gift of God called the Peppermint Chocolate Chip Milkshake.

I’m sure the fact that I disagree with what Cathy said has helped me reach this decision.

But the bottom line is there’s a time and a place for everything.

And everyone.

And the drive-thru window is no place to be handed a copy of the old testament.

Or the new one either.

The Darkest Night

My 13-year-old son and I had been talking about the new Batman film for months.

So much so that we had big plans to see the midnight debut last Friday.

Thankfully we didn't.

We could've gone to the Century 16 Theater in Aurora, Colorado.

Thankfully we didn't.

Why we didn't?

That's easy.

The Aurora theater is not our local theater.

Even though it's just 20 minutes from where we live.

But instead of making that drive, it was a whole lot easier to pick one of the theaters closer to our home.

It wasn't until late Thursday afternoon that I decided to put a kibosh on our big plans.

I finally came to the realization that a 45-year-old man and 13-year-old boy wouldn't enjoy a movie that starts at midnight.

As much as we would enjoy the 10:30am show.

The one we ended up seeing.

Not to mention, I wasn't willing to spend $25 to watch him fall asleep ten minutes into a three-hour film.

Now there was a point on Thursday when I did plan on looking into other theaters with cheaper tickets.

Thankfully I got distracted.

And never did.

Because had I checked a little closer I would've seen the Century 16 theater selling tickets at $6.50 a pop.

Far less than what everyone else was charging.

And knowing me, that would've been enough of a reason to give my son a movie experience he would never forget.

Thankfully I didn't.

Thank God I didn't.

What transpired at the Aurora theater last Friday is something that no one could've ever imagined.

Something no one will ever comprehend.

Certainly not my kids.

All three of them.

As you might imagine, the local coverage of the shooting has been wall-to-wall.

There's just no escaping it.

Even sports radio is covering it.

How could they not?

And while you might think a story like this would have the kids running the other way.

For my kids it's had the opposite effect.

They are watching the news.

When they NEVER watched the news.

They are talking about guns.

When they NEVER talked about guns.

They are genuinely scared.

When they were NEVER scared.

I was sitting in my office last night.

Late last night.

Writing this blog.

When my eight-year-old daughter walked in.

In tears.

"I can't sleep dad," she whispered.  

"I'm scared of James Holmes."

I immediately gave her a hug.

Told her that he was in jail.

And made sure she knew there was nothing for her to be scared about..

Then I made a couple of fart jokes.

And that did the trick.

This time.

But the fact that she even knows his name is terrible.

And the fact that she can't sleep because of this despicable excuse of human waste.

That's crushing.

When word first came out that the suspect was a neuroscience major, my 15-year-old daughter was appalled.

She's the brains in the family.

"He is so smart," she said.

"Why didn't he use his brain to cure cancer instead of killing people?"

I didn't have an answer.

Is there an answer?

From the moment we learned of this tragedy I have been up front with the kids.

Answering every question they ask.

Or at least trying to.

And there have been many.

My son and I were back in the theater early Friday morning.

To see that 10:30 showing.

We arrived a little after 10.

Which we never do.

He was wondering if it was safe to go.

That's when I told him the safest day to fly is the day after a plane crash.

I had to say something.

Since we arrived in the theater so early we had plenty of time to talk.

And that's what we did.

We talked.

We talked about Batman.

We talked about where the exit doors were located.

And we talked about what had taken place ten hours earlier.

Just 21 miles away.

Things no 13-year-old should ever have to think about.

And no 15-year-old.

And certainly no eight-year-old.

But instead of pretending that it never happened.

And just flipping on Disney Channel.

I've been just trying to help make some sense of this whole thing.

I just wish someone could explain this all to me.

Death of a Salesman

Penn State didn’t have the book thrown at them on Monday morning.

It was more like the Encyclopedia Britannica.

And it is certain to leave quite the mark on a once storied football program:

• $60 Million Fine
• Four-Year Post-Season Ban
• Lose 40+ Football Scholarships
• Five years probation
• All wins vacated 1998-2011

Definitely not in that order.

Let’s be clear here.

The NCAA is sending one giant message.

Joe Paterno is a loser.

Oh sure, all of the other stuff will cripple a football program that was once considered one of the best.

And one of the cleanest.

But the poster-child for these penalties will be one Joseph Vincent Paterno.

And even though he died the winningest coach in college football history.

He won’t rest that way.

History books can be changed.

And Monday morning they were.

111 wins wiped away from Penn State.

111 wins wiped away from Joe Paterno.

And with those wins no longer there, Paterno’s claim to fame is no longer a claim at all.

Joe Paterno is not the winningest coach in college football history.

He is the biggest loser.

The NCAA put the final nail in his coffin on Monday.

Erasing a man’s legacy.

Whatever was left of it.

His alma mater, Brown University, had already taken his name off a prestigious award.

Nike did the same with their child care center.

And after a debate more talked about than health care reform.

Penn State finally decided to tear down a statue of their former leader.

Saddam style.

When we first learned that the NCAA had finally reached a verdict on how they would penalize the university.

The punishment was called “unprecedented.”

Monday morning they didn’t disappoint.

Handing down penalties that will destroy the past, present and most definitely the future of Penn State Football.

The NCAA is sending a message that for 14 years Pennsylvania State University harbored an abuser.

Oh not Jerry Sandusky.

Although he will pay a price too.

A hefty price.

Behind bars.

The message here is that even though the actions of Sandusky are among the most heinous we could imagine.

It was Paterno who committed the ultimate crime.

Looking the other way while his friend was molesting young boys.

Protecting a criminal to avoid bad publicity for his castle.

Pretending there is no fire, while his friend is burning down the lives of dozens of innocent victims.

And when the kitchen got too hot.

Paterno took the easy way out.

He died.

There was some talk that Penn State football might too get the death penalty.

That’s where the school gets banned from competing in a sport for at least one year.

But according to most of the so-called experts, what they got was far worse.

Instead of killing the victim.

The NCAA is letting them suffer.

Sandusky style.

Paterno may no longer be with us, supposedly he’s in a better place.

But anytime his name is mentioned in the future, there will be no mention of anything he’s done on a football field.

No mention of the undefeated season in 1968.

Or 1969.

Or the one in 1973.

Or the one in 1986.

Or the one in 1994.

No mention of the national championship in 1983.

Or the one four years later.

Nobody will remember the 409 wins.

Or the 111 that were taken away.

Joe Paterno will be remembered for one thing.

His biggest loss.

And that’s the way it should be.

Ridiculousness

Jeremy Lin is now a member of the Houston Rockets.

Again.

Officially.

And I couldn't be happier.

As a basketball fan.

As a fantasy basketball owner.

And as a guy who finds it completely impossible to root for the overrated shooting star titled Carmelo Anthony.

There’s never been a player who has accomplished less, by thinking he's more, than Lin's former teammate Carmelo Anthony.

Since joining the Association in 2003, Anthony has been the poster child for that old golf saying:

You drive for show, but you putt for dough.

Despite scoring nearly 16,000 points in the regular season, Carmelo has never been able to win the big one.

Actually he’s never been able to win the little one either.

Sure, he’s made the playoffs every year.

But considering that more than half of the league does that, that’s not really saying much.

And in every one of those years, except one, Carmelo was eliminated in the first round.

In fact, Anthony’s post-season win percentage is the lowest of any NBA player who has ever laced up the sneakers.

Well any player who has played 50 or more playoff games.

But still.

Even with that abysmal record, that hasn’t stopped NBA owners from throwing money at him.

LOTS of money at him.

In 2007, the Denver Nuggets signed Anthony to a five-year $80 million dollar deal.

Anthony rewarded the team by demanding a trade in 2010.

And then again in 2011.

In February of that year, the Nuggets finally gave in.

Shipping Anthony to New York for five guys, three draft picks and a chunk of cash.

Before the ink was dry on the deal, the Knicks rewarded Carmelo with a three-year contract extension.

Worth another $65 million.

Carmelo may not know much about winning in the NBA, but he certainly knows how to get paid.

And maybe that’s what has me so fired up about this story.

When the word came out a few days ago that Houston had offered Lin a three-year deal worth $25 million.

Everybody had an opinion.

Especially Carmelo.

When asked what he thought of the offer, Anthony called it “ridiculous.”

Ridiculous!

Really?

Generous, maybe.

Magnanimous, perhaps.

But ridiculous?

Paying a guy like Anthony who has a whopping 17 playoff wins over nine seasons nearly $22 million a year.

That’s ridiculous.

Paying the most marketable NBA player since Michael Jordan a third of that.

That’s plain brilliant.

The fact that the Knicks didn’t match the Lin offer, or perhaps couldn’t match the offer.

Because they had too much cash locked up in Anthony’s monster contract.

Well, that’s nobody’s fault but the Knicks.

If anything is ridiculous about this situation, it’s the fact that  the Knicks were sitting on a goldmine.

And they flushed it down the sewer.

New York City has the largest Chinese population of any city outside of Asia.

And Jeremy Lin is Chinese.

Holy Gene Rayburn Batman.

We have a match.

Unfortunately the Knicks took that perfect match and lit their franchise on fire.

Don’t blame Jeremy Lin for signing the best deal he could.

And don’t blame the Rockets for giving it to him.

Even if Houston had no idea what they had in Lin when they released him just eight months ago.

Rockets General Manager Daryl Morey tweeted as much back in February:

Daryl Morey ‏@dmorey

@jlin7 Did not know he was this good.  Anyone who says they knew misleading U 

I guess he ran out of characters.

But the point was well taken.

Jeremy Lin came out of nowhere.

Well, he came out of Harvard.

Which in the NBA, is out of nowhere.

And the fact that he’s an Asian point guard.

Well, that really stacked the odds against him.

But during the 25 starts he made with the Knicks this past season, Lin showed that he can really play in this league.

Like February 4th.

When he scored 25 points off the bench to beat the Nets.

Or February 6th.

When he had 28 points and eight assists to beat the Jazz.

Or February 8th.

When he had 23 and 10 in a win against Washington.

Or February 10.

When he dropped 38 on Kobe Bryant and the Lakers.

Or February 11.

When he put up 20 and eight against Minnesota.

Or February 14.

When he had 27 and 11 in Toronto, including a buzzer-beating three-point shot to win it.

Or February 15.

When he put up a career-high 13 assists to beat Sacramento.

Seven straight wins.

Six of which were without Anthony.

Who was nursing a “lingering groin injury.”

And when Anthony did come back.

The team lost eight out of 10.

Including six straight at one point.

Coincidence.

I think not.

Now only time will tell if Jeremy Lin can recapture the magic that swept through New York five months ago.

The Linsanity, if you will.

But the bottom line for me is that Jeremy Lin is everything that is right about sports.

While Carmelo Anthony is everything that is wrong.

And anybody who says anything different, is just plain ridiculous.