iLegend -- The Final Cut

I am going to die.

Someday.

That’s not really breaking news.

You are going to die someday too.

That’s reality.

None of us know how long we have on this planet.

But most of us hope we leave this place a little better off.

Than it was when we got here.

I’m not sure what my legacy will be.

But I do know the three kids I helped bring into this world are special.

And that’s about all I could hope for.

Setting the bar too high usually ends in disappointment.

I’d love to sit here and say that I am going to invent something special someday.

Something that will change the world.

But the truth is.

That’s not going to happen.

Unless you consider putting peanut butter on your hamburger as changing the world.

Actually I didn’t invent that.

But that’s the type of thing that I’m capable of doing.

Hey, you gotta know who you are.

When we look back at history, it’s very easy to think...

“I coulda done that.”

Like starting a self-serve frozen yogurt shop.

That charges seven dollars.

For something that costs 70 cents.

I coulda done that.

Attaching a little spoon to the bottom of a straw.

To make the Slurpee even more refreshing.

Damn.

I coulda done that.

How about mixing vitamins into tap water.

And calling it VITAMIN WATER.

And then selling $350 million worth of this vitamin water.

In one year.

I coulda done that.

Those are things I coulda done.

But didn’t.

There are also plenty of things I couldn’t have done too.

Enter Steve Jobs.

At the unripened age of 21, Steve Jobs helped start a company that forever changed the world.

Well it didn’t change the world right away.

In fact, it took him getting fired from the company he created before he could come back to save it.

But if it wasn’t for Steve Jobs, I wouldn’t be sitting where I am right now.

The toilet.

Ok, TMI.

But the point is -- that’s where I’m writing this blog.

Thanks to Steve Jobs I can carry a computer around in the palm of my hand.

Anywhere I want.

Anytime I want.

Thanks to Steve Jobs this world will never be the same.

Again.

For me it all started with the iPod.

Probably 5 or 6 years ago.

I remember thinking, “let me get this straight.”

“I can put ALL of my CDs on a device that fits in my pocket.”

At last check, the count was up to like 9,000 songs.

From there I made the jump to the iPod touch.

That gives me my music.

And the internet.

Then it was the iPhone.

My music.

The internet.

AND a phone.

Well it was supposed to be a phone.

Unfortunately Steve Jobs didn’t invent AT&T.

Then the iMac.

And the iPad.

And the iToothbrush.

And the iToaster Oven.

iT doesn’t stop.

Steve Jobs and his minions have done more for technology than any group this side of Thomas Edison.

For example, Steve Jobs single-handedly destroyed my business of television production.

Well TV production as we knew it.

Ok, destroyed may be a little strong.

Let's just say, they iChanged the world of how to make television.

Back in the day, the path to a TV career was pretty simple.

• Go to school
• Get an internship
• Get a low paying job
• Work countless hours in that low paying job
• Stay in that same job

Till death do us part.

Steve Jobs changed all that too.

Well Apple did.

Thanks to products like the Final Cut editing system.

And iMovie.

A similar product with a cool “i” in the title.

Anyone can be a TV producer.

Or a film director.

And I mean anyone.

For a couple hundred bucks you can not only buy Final Cut at the Apple store.

But they will teach you how to use it.

With a smile.

No need for that college education.

Internship?

Puh-lease.

Did you see the movie Napolean Dynamite?

That was edited in the producer’s apartment.

Using a Mac computer.

And Final Cut Pro.

Eat Pray Love.

Final Cut.

Glee.

Final Cut.

Nip/Tuck.

Final Cut.

My daughter’s year-end soccer video.

Final Cut.

The same Final Cut.

A website I found today called, fcproducer.com summed it up:

Steve Jobs changed the marketplace forever.  Big creative edit suites filled with broadcasting gear began downsizing and eventually going out of business because how affordable owning a editing suite became. Small businesses began purchasing equipment and hiring staff to run it. 

Final Cut Pro came out and allowed all us little people the power to begin storytelling. I graduated from film school and couldn’t afford to purchase any equipment. The cheapest professional camcorders at that time were $50,000. Then Canon teamed with Apple to give us the power to tell stories. That was when I finished my first documentary. It was self-produced and funded while I worked delivering pizzas.

RIP Mr. Jobs.

Thank you for changing the world.

Sick and Twisted

Nobody has ever died of a Vitamin-C overdose.

Well I can’t confirm that.

But when I googled “Vitamin C” and “Overdose”.

Nothing like that came up.

So it must be true.

And that’s a good thing.

Because I think I tested the limits yesterday.

Disclaimer:   If you take too much Vitamin C, you can get a bad case of the runs, maybe even some hurling.   If that happens, the internet says, stop taking Vitamin C and drink lotsa water.

You see, I developed this nasty head cold.

And I tried throwing everything with a C at it.

Emergen-C.

Cough Drops with Vitamin C.

Vitamin C tablets.

There were so many C’s, I thought I was looking at my college transcripts.

Even at lunch, one serving of my barbecue potato chips had 10% of the daily vitamin C requirement.

Really.

Good thing I had four servings.

But even with all that, this cold was kicking my behind.

And I couldn’t limit my meds to just the letter C.

I had my one a day vitamin.

Tylenol.

Tussin DM.

The younger, cheaper brother of Robitussin.

Don’t worry.

I took the recommended dosage.

At the recommended times.

But nothing was working.

I stayed hydrated.

With water.

And Vitamin Water.

And this concoction from Starbucks that some barista threw my way a couple of years ago.

Hot tea.

Honey.

And steamed lemonade.

A shot or two.

Honestly, I have no idea if it works.

But the good news is they have no idea how to charge me for a shot (or two) of steamed lemonade.

So they rarely do.

When I’m sick, I will listen to anyone who has a cure.

Gargling with warm salt water.

Chicken soup.

Steam.

Vicks VapoRub.

Euthanasia.

Echinacea.

Whatever.

You name it.

I’ve tried it.

And exactly... none of them work.

Well, none of them work right away.

I’m sure they all work with a good night sleep.

But how I am supposed to sleep when my nose is stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey?

And my throat is as raw as the daily special at Sushi Roku.

And my eyes are as watery as...

Well you get it.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have the luxury of lying in bed.

I had already committed to a field trip with my sixth grade son’s class.

And I wasn’t going to pass on that.

I had done that too many times in the past.

So I brought my box of kleenex.

And my sack lunch.

And I got on the bus.

Sitting next to me was one of the teachers.

And she sniffed out pretty quickly that I had the sniffles.

So she suggested a new remedy.

Well, a new one for me.

Take two tablespoons of Apple Cider Vinegar.

Mix in some Cayenne Pepper.

And gargle.

Who came up with this?

Dr. Emmett L. Brown?

I don’t think so.

But thanks for thinking of me.

So I fumbled and stumbled my way through the trip.

And through the rest of the day.

Until it was time for my son’s basketball practice.

By this point, I was major league hurting.

But I’m an assistant coach on the team.

And what kind of role model would I be if I missed practice.

When we got there, the head coach realized pretty quickly that I left my A-game at home.

But instead of sending me there.

He sent me to the store.

“Have you ever tried ACV?”, he said.

ACV?

Before I could figure out he wasn’t talking about something sold in a dark alley, he jumped in.

“Apple Cider Vinegar.”

Ex-squeeze me.

Baking powder.

“Wow,” I said.  “I was told earlier today to gargle it.”

“With Cayenne Pepper.”

“Don’t gargle it,” he snapped back.

“Drink it!”

So let me get this straight, I’m supposed to drink Apple Cider Vinegar?

Actually, Organic Apple Cider Vinegar.

And that is going to cure me.

“Yep,” he said.

He told me that it cured him of pneumonia in 2006.

And he hasn’t been sick since.

Anytime he feels a bug coming on.

Mix two tablespoons of vinegar with a glass of water.

And presto chango, “you feel better in 20 minutes.”

20 minutes?

Where do I sign?

“Whole Foods,” he said.  “They have the organic kind.”

So after practice, I headed over there, got the goods and took it home.

$4.99 for one of them big jugs.

And I did exactly as instructed.

The glass of water.

The two tablespoons.

And within minutes....

My stomach was burning.

Well, not burning burning.

But I could feel it.

But I could also feel myself feeling better.

I’m not sure how much of this was in my head.

And how much of this was in my blood.

But somehow this little ACV thing actually worked.

Well it worked for now.

I’ll know more in the morning.

If I wake up.