Showing posts with label Chris Rock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chris Rock. Show all posts

Sunday, February 26, 2012

A Night at the Movies



A few Fridays ago, my high school daughter had the day off from school.
When I was her age we called it playing hooky.
Nowadays they call it a Teacher Development Day.
Whatever that is.
But the bottom line is I got to enjoy a rare one-on-one day with my 14-year-old.
I called it a date.
But that creeped her out.
So instead we just referred to it as a father/daughter day.
Our father/daughter day began with lunch.
At a local Jewish deli.
The only Jewish deli in our town.
But this place is hardcore.
So hardcore we had Matzo Ball Soup.
A Knish.
Blintzes.
Kishka.
Corned Beef on Rye.

No mayo.
And for dessert, we enjoyed a bag of Kichel.
If you’ve never heard of Kichel.
Just clear your throat when you get to the CH in the middle of the word.
Maybe then it will sound more familiar.
Either way, our lunch was fantastic.
So good, she said “it felt like we were in New York again.”
Now that’s a compliment.
With our bellies full and our throats clear, we transitioned into part II of our date.
I mean our father/daughter day.
The movie.
And we had a bunch to choose from.
But we figured this was our opportunity to see something good.
You know, with the Oscars right around the corner.
We had already seen The Help.
And loved it.
A few days earlier we had rented that one from our local Red Box for $1.
Red Box -- the greatest invention ever.
The Help -- the greatest movie ever.
Ok, maybe not ever.
But we loved it.
All 146 minutes of it.
I love movies that feel real.
Even if they are fake.
And coming off that one, I had high hopes for our next one.
Not to mention, this time we would be in a real theater.
I called my friend Phil who raved that The Descendants was one of the best movies he’s ever seen.
Ever?
That was good enough for me.
Too bad he was wrong.
Oh, it was good.
At times.
But great?
Not so much.
Greatest ever?
Stop!
If they were trying to create a film to match the slow lifestyle in Hawaii, they succeeded.
I mean this thing was so slow my freshman daughter became a sophomore halfway through the film.
115 minutes felt like two hours.
We both wished that we would’ve gone with door #2 instead.
The Artist.
At least that had a dog in it.
And after Sunday’s Oscars we coulda bragged that we saw the best picture of the year.
Oh well.
There’s always next Teacher Development Day.
My kids have really taken a liking to the movies.
And not just kids movies.
Thanks to Red Box, we see at least a film a week.
Real Steel.
Mr. Popper’s Penguins.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
All the classics.
Hey what do you expect for $1.
But at least it keeps them interested in the big screen.
And it also made watching Sunday’s Academy Awards a much easier sell.
In fact, they were actually excited to see Oscar.
They loved Billy Crystal’s show opening.
Even though they had no idea who Billy Crystal was.
Then again, they had no idea who most of these people were.
When Barbara Streisand popped on the screen. my son asked, “what’s she from?”
My daughter quickly replied, “Meet the Fockers.”
Oh yeah, THAT’S where Barbara Streisand is from.

My son also thought Martin Scorsese was Tampa Bay manager Joe Maddon.
You can see why.
But all things considered, I really enjoyed watching the Oscars with the kids.
Not to mention it gave me some great blog material.
For example...
My daughter caught J. Lo’s left nip slip.
(So did I.)
The kids wanted to know why Canada was eligible for Best Foreign Film.
When The Artist came on in black & white, my son said “what’s up with this, we are not in the 50’s anymore.”
My son also wanted to know why the French actor from that film had a wife AND a partner.  
I told him, he's French.
Little did I know the partner in the movie was actually the wife of the Director in real life.
Those French.
We all loved Chris Rock.
I mean that guy is so funny, he could read the phone book and make me laugh.
It also made me wonder how great the show would’ve been had Eddie Murphy remained the host.
Speaking of Murphy, I learned during the broadcast that SNL actors have been nominated nine different times.
And they’ve never won.
When Angelina Jolie came out as a presenter, I noticed her face looked shiny.
And that she’s getting older.
My eight-year-old daughter noticed that “she’s really full of herself.”
One point for each of us.
We all noticed that Glenn Close makes for one UGLY guy.
So does Nick Nolte.
I cried when they showed Ghost.
Both seconds of it.
I cringed when the Iranian filmmaker unraveled his 8 1/2 by 11 piece of paper with his acceptance speech.
We all wondered why the sound editor guy would use the word “indefatigable” in his speech.
And we also wondered what it meant.
We wondered what that Cirque de Soleil thing was all about.
And why the girl with the giant afro got so much airtime while we were trying to remember the people who died.
My daughter wondered how Bradley Cooper was voted one of the hottest guys in the world with one of the unhottest mustaches.
But there was one moment that made us all smile.
When Rango won for best animated something or other.
You see a few years ago my wife was the teacher of the son of Rango Director Gore Verbinski.
And when he won on Sunday.
It was like we had won on Sunday.
I guess that’s the magic of the movies.

And isn't that what this night was all about.





Saturday, July 23, 2011

11 Degrees of @KevinBacon


My name is Sir Bacon.
And I'm a Twitterholic.
There!
I admitted it.
Are you happy?
Twitter is not only addicting.
But it's amazing.
I love that I can get all of my news.
And sports
And jokes.
In 140 characters.
Or less.
In real time.
On twitter you don't have to be a leader.
You can follow anybody you want.
From a wide range of food groups.
For music, I love @MissyHiggins.
And @Eminem.
And @GreasyLake... for all of my Springsteen news.
As a diehard sports fan, I follow @DAVIDprice14.
My fantasy baseball pitcher.
And @JaValeMcGee34.
My fantasy basketball center.
And @ErinAndrews.
My fantasy...
Oh, never mind.
For the funnies, there's a lot more than @Chris Rock.
@SarahKSilverman always cracks me up.
And if you really want to go into the gutter.
Try @JennyJohnsonHi5.
But no matter your taste.
There's plenty out there for you.
Another cool thing about twitter.
Is you can see who follows who.
Or is it whom follows whom?
Either way.
I was surprised to see that @KingJames (LeBron) follows @TheEllenShow (DeGeneres).
@TheEllenShow follows @icecube.
@icecube follows @ConanOBrien.
It's a vicious cycle.
We could go on all day.
Now for those of you who haven't made the jump from facebook.
To twitter.
Shame on you.
Sure they both come from the social networking family tree.
But they are oh so different.
Let me explain.
On twitter you can follow anybody you want.
Even if they don't follow you.
On facebook, you can friend anybody you want.
But they can ignore you.
Most of the people you follow on twitter.
Are people you've never met.
Your friends on facebook.
Are real friends.
Or at least people you chose to accept.
As real friends.
If you don't want to be friends with someone who friends you on facebook.
Just ignore them.
It's not rude.
It's facebook.
This whole LeBron, Ellen, Ice Cube, Conan circle is what twitter is all about.
Figure out what you like.
And follow them.
If you want to create that same circle on facebook.
It can be done.
I suppose.
But its a lot more challenging.
I played my own game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon.
To see how long it would take for me to have a friend.
Of a friend.
Of a friend.
Of Kevin Bacon.
On facebook.
Problem is Kevin Bacon doesn't have a facebook page.
But he and his brother do.
They are called the “Bacon Brothers.”

Of course they are.
Why wouldn’t they be.
Well the Bacon Brothers, the talented music group, do have a facebook page.
With 4980 friends.
So how hard could it possibly be to connect these dots.
And find one of my friends.
Who is a friend.
Of a friend.
Of the Bacon Brothers.
I started my journey with JuJu Chang.
The ABC News reporter.
And friend of Sir Bacon.
Well, Stewart Bacon on facebook.
Juju has 3929 friends.
Good start.
Juju is friends with Howard Kurtz.
The Washington Bureau Chief for Newsweek.
He's got 4265 friends.
On facebook.
One of those friends is Steve Case.
The AOL guy.
4903 friends.
And did you know he is a fan of U2.
That's what it says on his page.
Well Steve is a friend with Morgan Spurlock.
The super-sized guy.
A movie guy.
Hey, we are getting somewhere.
Well Morgan has 4941 friends.
And one of those friends is Mark Cuban.
The multi-gazillionaire owner of the Dallas Mavericks.
Who has 4809 friends.
37 of which are named Adam.
Just one named Eve.
One of the Adams is Adam Duritz.
Lead singer of the Counting Crows.
Well Duritz is friends with Mr. Roast.


Jeffrey Ross.
Ross is friends with Artie Lange.
Artie Lange is friends with Ben Stiller.
And drum roll please.
Stiller is friends with...  the Bacon Brothers.
After that long and winding road.
We finally found our home.


Soup to Nuts.


Actually Bacon to Bacon.

Stewart Bacon -- Juju -- Kurtz -- Case -- Spurlock -- Cuban -- Duritz -- Ross -- Lange -- Stiller -- Bacon Brothers.
11 Degrees.
To find Kevin Bacon.
And his brother.
On facebook.
Yet another reason why I love twitter.