Monday, January 3, 2011

Picking A New Door

There we were sitting at the 20-yard line when it hit me.
You see Sunday morning I got an email from a friend that they had four extra tickets to the local NFL game.
It was a mass email.
So it was first come, first serve.
And I was first.
So I took my son, my oldest daughter and my nephew to the final game of the 2010 NFL regular season.
With two losing teams on the field, this game had absolutely no meaning.
To the players.
But it meant a lot to these kids.
My nephew had never been to an NFL game before.
My daughter loves the nachos.
And my son cares about EVERY game.
I wonder where he gets that from?
And even though the seats were higher than Snoop Dogg, we had a blast.
We talked football.
We talked music.
We just talked.
It was the low-pressure outing that the doctor had ordered.
I even got a little teaching in.
I taught my son that “You Really Got Me” was by The Kinks.
AND by Van Halen.
And that there were two Van Halens in Van Halen.
And now there are three.
And that somebody really named their son Wolfgang.
I taught my nephew the crazier you dance, the better chance you have of getting on the jumbotron.
Even though we never made it there.
And I taught my daughter about the tackle box.
Not the tackle box used in fishing.

Remember, Jews don’t fish.
I’m talking about the tackle box on a football field.
That’s the space between the left tackle and the right tackle.
Center in the middle.
Guard on each side of the center.

Tackle next to the guard.
Well she picked that up quickly.
But not as quickly as she picked up those nachos.
It was at about that time that I had an epiphany.
Out of nowhere, it hit me.
I finally figured out what I want to do with the next phase of my life.
Try something new.
Do something I love.
Something I have a passion for.
Start all over.
At age 43.
Why not?
Where am I now?
Nowhere.
I'm not allergic to hard work.
And look where it got me.
Of course getting in a new door is not quite as easy as it sounds.
They have big bolts on those doors.
And they don’t let just anybody in.
So I started thinking of people I know.
Or people I know who know people.
Who might be able to unlock one of those doors for me.
I’m not looking for a free handout.
I just want a chance.
After the game, I took the kids out for a meal to celebrate this giant revelation.
Even though I never told them about the conversation in my head.
We started with two orders of chicken wings.
Followed that up with well-done waffle fries.
Then washed it down with something called Ice Cream Pie.
It’s important to hit all of the food groups.
I have attached a picture for your viewing pleasure.



For those of you that don’t have a scratch n’ sniff computer monitor, here is how it was described in the menu:
The mega dessert that is big enough to share!  Rich French vanilla, mocha-almond fudge and classic chocolate ice creams, layered on a chocolate cookie crust and topped with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, caramel sauce and toffee pieces.
I’m guessing it’s about 9,000,000 calories.
But it could be less.
While we were inhaling, I mean enjoying this masterpiece, I noticed someone across the room.
I don’t know this person.
But my kids do.
Well, they don’t know him.
But they do know his kids.
And he is a guy who works in a field I'd love to be part of.
A potential locksmith, you could say.
Now he was having private dinner with a friend.
And I was not about to be “that guy”.
So I waited for his friend to go to the bathroom.
Or the phone booth.
Or a cigarette break.
Whatever.
All the while, I prepared my speech.
In my head.
“Hi.  You don’t know me.  I’m...”
No.
“Hi.  I wanted to say hello, I’m...”
No.
“Hey there.  I was wondering if...”
You would’ve thought I was asking the guy out.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I must’ve looked at his table 67 times.
Waiting for his friend to disappear.
And they never did.
Not once.
And after we had licked every bit of the hot fudge off the plate, it was time to get the kids home.
Honestly, I’m not really sure if this guy could help me.
Or would help me.
But someday, soon, I will give him a chance TO help me.
Tonight just wasn’t the night.

I guess we'll have to go back for more pie.






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