Safety First

The big winner in Sunday’s Super Bowl was not Eli Manning.

Ok, it was Eli Manning.

But it was also some guy whose name shall remain nameless.

That’s because we don’t know what it is.

In fact, we don’t even know if it’s a guy.

But I’m betting on it.

What we do know is someone stepped to the counter at the MGM Sports Book in Las Vegas before Sunday’s game.

And made a $1,000 bet.

Ok, a lot of people stepped to the counter at the MGM Sports Book before Sunday’s game and made a $1,000 bet.

But this was not just any bet.

This was a stupid bet.

Insanely stupid bet.

Only problem is... it hit.

BIG.

One of the many beautiful things about the Super Bowl is the gambling.

You can bet on anything.

Literally anything.

You could bet on whether Madonna would wear an NFL Jersey during her halftime performance.

She did not.

You could also bet on whether the coin flip would land on heads or tails.

Remember, tails never fails.

Except Sunday.

You could even bet on how long Kelly Clarkson’s version of the National Anthem would go.

Now I love gambling as much as Kenny Rogers.

But some things just aren’t worth your time.

Or your money.

As Kenny said, you gotta know when to walk away.

Fortunately for our aforementioned nameless gambler, he didn’t know when to walk away.

In fact, thanks to his addiction he is $50,000 richer tonight.

Assuming he didn’t lose it all at the Video Poker machines.

You see our little gambler went all Phil Collins on us.

Betting against all odds.

The MGM Sports Book offered 50-to-1 odds that the first score of the game Sunday would be a safety.

By the Giants.

Not just a safety.

A play that rarely-to-never happens.

But a safety by a specific team.

As the first score of the game.

Now these “prop” bets as they are called are a lot of fun.

And there are a million of them.

Which team will call the first timeout.

Will there be an onside kick in the game.

Will Eli Manning make one of those goofy faces after his receiver runs the wrong route.

When it comes to the Super Bowl, you can bet on anything.

Now I must admit, I do love sitting in the sports book and throwing some cash down on those crazy bets.

$5 here.

$5 there.

20 prop bets later you’re down $100.

But you had a bunch of “free” drinks.

Inhaled a lot of second hand smoke.

And had a great time.

But to bet $1,000 on something that never happens.

Houston, we have a serious gambling problem.

Only this year.

It happened.

On the Giants first defensive play of the game.

They got a safety.

In a matter of seconds, New York’s first two points turned this man’s 1k into 50k.

Just.

Like.

That.

Now how unlikely was this occurrence?

Well, let's do the math.

This was Super Bowl XLVI.

And in the previous XLV games.

A safety happened just VI times.

That’s six times for those of you who don’t speak capital letter numbers.

Six times.

In 46 games.

And of those six times.

The safety was the first score of the game.

Just once.

XXXVII years ago.

Now just because I can’t afford to spend $1,000 on a prop bet doesn’t mean our little gambler can’t afford it.

In fact, the $50,000 he won might just be pocket money.

But I’m going to go out on a limb and say that his bet on the Safety wasn’t his only bet of the game.

For all I know -- he might’ve thrown 10 geez down that red would be the gatorade bath color for the winning coach.

Those odds were 13-2.

Or he might’ve bet 25k that Eli would have more completions on Sunday than LeBron would have points.

Which he did not.

Now I’m certainly not here to say that gambling is bad.

At our Super Bowl party on Sunday we sold Super Bowl squares to each of the guests.

And my 14-year-old daughter was the big winner.

She turned a 50-cent square into $20.

If only we would've raised those stakes.

Car Games

T.G.I.F.

Thank God It’s February.

I don’t think I could afford one more day of January.

You see I had this brilliant idea at the start of the month to keep the kids entertained.

As you may recall, 2010 ended with me getting a brand new car.

My mom’s 2004 P.T. Cruiser.

So me being me, I told the kids I would give them a quarter for every P.T. Cruiser we saw during the first month of the year.

I figured it would be a fun way to keep them busy.

And help the time fly by.

And at the end of the month, we could take the kids and the money we owe them to 7/11 for a couple of Slurpees.

Over the years, I’ve been part of quite a few road trips.

San Diego to Chicago.

My mom and I ran into an electrical storm in Nebraska that was so strong, it still scares me to this day.

But that’s when she told me that I can’t control lightning.

And you should never worry about things you can’t control.

Unfortunately it didn’t work then.

And it doesn’t work now.

Los Angeles to Las Vegas.

Hartford to Quebec City.

Four of us made that trip.   

In the dead of winter.   

I’m not sure what was more frozen.

The ice at the Nordiques hockey game.

Or the ice on the highways.

Talk about scary.

Los Angeles to Las Vegas.

Cleveland to Toronto.

My wife and I made that trip.

We were running a little late.

So when we got to Niagara Falls, I pulled a Chevy Chase from Vacation.

Nodded a couple of times at those amazing waterfalls.

And said we gotta go.

We... I didn't want to be late for the Blue Jays game.

Classy move, I know.

Los Angeles to Las Vegas.

Yes, I love driving to Vegas.

Its the trip home that sucks.

Especially the one in college when I left most of my rent money on a craps table.

But no matter where you are going.

Or who you are going with.

The goal is always the same.

Help time fly by.

Whether its 99 bottles of beer.

The song, not the drinks.

Or seeing how many out-of-state license plates you can find.

If you can make a 10-hour trip feel like eight.

You win.

Nowadays parents like to use a different device to hypnotize the kids in the car.

The DVD player.

And it works.

But sometimes things can get out of hand.

Your honor, Exhibit 1A:

I was with a friend the other day who put on a movie in the car for their kids to watch.

The trip we were taking was from their home.

To the grocery store.

Five minutes away.

Really.

You can’t even watch the credits in five minutes.

We have one of those DVD players in our car too.

But we’ve never turned it on.

Never.

I’m not saying we are better than anyone.

I’m just sayin.

But once you’ve turned it on, there’s no turning back.

We feel it is a lot more important to conversate with our kids.

Teach them new words.

Like conversate.

Introduce them to some of our favorite things.

I love to turn on Howard Stern to see how many seconds it takes before he says something they shouldn’t hear.

I think the max is two seconds. 

And there’s always the opportunity to just talk to them.

Learn about them.

For example, just today, we were driving home from school.

Out of nowhere, my daughter says...

“I hate throwing up.”

Ok.

So my wife responded as any caring parent would.

“You won’t always feel that way.”

“What?”, said my little girl.

“I won’t always hate throwing up?”

“Oh, throwing up.   I thought you said growing up.”

“Oh.   Yeah, you’ll never like that.”

Every moment we spend with the kids is precious.

And the times in the car are among the best.

With the least distractions.

And this P.T. Cruiser game was something we all got to enjoy.

But as the days went on... and the quarters piled up.

They were really into it.

This was real cash.

In fact, at month’s end, the tally reached a whopping $29.50.

Yep, we saw 118 P.T. Cruisers in one month.

118?

I didn’t know they made that many.

But hopefully long after each kid has spent their $9.833333333.

They will remember our car rides.

And smile.