The New York Nix

I am the Commissioner of my Fantasy Basketball league.

Have been since 1993.

When we started this league.

18 years later, we are stronger than ever.

We lasted longer than Shaq.

Even longer than Tom Gugliotta.

We’ve survived two lockouts.

We’ve had 44 owners.

And co-owners.

We have a rookie draft.

A waiver draft.

A pre-season auction.

International players.

Development league players.

Performance raises.

Three websites.

We play head-to-head.

And overall.

I could keep going.

But here’s the point.

As the Commissioner of this league, I take this thing very seriously.

We.. take this thing very seriously.

That’s probably why we’ve lasted this long.

We do everything we can to run our “fantasy” league exactly like the NBA runs its “real” league.

If you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe our eight-page rulebook.

FOR A FANTASY LEAGUE.

I’ve had more than a bundle of tough decisions over the years as the Commish.

But the goal is always to do what’s in the best interest of BART.

The Basketball Association of Rotisserie Teams.

I would imagine that NBA Commissioner David Stern tries to rule his league the same way.

Whatever is in the best interest of the NBA.

Well the NBA owners.

That’s why they locked out the players for 149 days, right?

Well as I type this here blog, Mr. Stern is submersed in a flaming hot whirlpool of controversy.

Or is it conspiracy?

Yesterday about this time, the story broke that the Los Angeles Lakers had made a trade.

A blockbuster trade.

A fantasy league trade.

They had acquired Chris Paul, the great.... young... STAR point guard they had been longing for.

To get him they gave up two very good players.

Very tall players.

Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom.

And by moving Gasol and Odom, the Lakers had depleted their lineup of a bunch of their bulk.

Some might even say they made their team worse.

This was certainly not a trade that guarantees them anything.

But clearly they felt that the combo platter of Paul and Kobe Bryant is exactly what they needed.

And who am I to argue.

The Los Angeles Lakers have won 11 championships.

My Dunkin’ Donuts have only won eight.

But something funny happened on the way to this deal getting done.

The NBA Commish stepped in from the home office in Manhattan.

And before the ink was dry, David Stern threw down the kibosh.

That’s yiddish for nix.

Veto.

Declination.

Pick a word.

The bottom line is this done deal was undone.

According to an NBA Spokesman not named David Stern:

“The league office declined to make the trade for basketball reasons.”

Basketball reasons?

Not sure what that exactly means, but the good people on twitter sure had fun with it:

@5joeclines

Next time someone's credit isn't good enough to buy a car I'll deny them for basketball reasons. #NBA

@russbengtson

BREAKING: David Stern blocks Dwight Howard trade that hasn't even been proposed yet. For basketball reasons.

@ShinaBina3

I'm not going to work tomorrow for #BasketballReasons

@caliretheory

Got pulled over and refused to give my license to the cop. He asked why I was refusing. #basketballreasons

@HousefromDC

Developing Story: NBA Commissioner David Stern vetoes Christmas. #basketballreasons

You can rest assure that the NBA hasn’t heard the end of their new catch phrase.

Like Charlie Sheen will never hear the end of... WINNING.

In fact, you can already buy a t-shirt to celebrate the moment.

And to make this worse for Stern, the reports came out, quickly, that this veto was all about peer pressure.

Apparently a handful of NBA Owners went sprinting to Stern to complain about this trade.

They were a little miffed that the first move after the let’s all have more competitive balance lockout was...

BULLY STEALS LUNCH MONEY & SUPERSTAR GUARD

And supposedly these owners demanded that this trade goes away.

Right effing now.

But the NBA quickly squashed that theory.

Or at least tried to.

“It’s not true that the owners killed that deal.”

Said the same NBA Spokesperson not named David Stern.

Oh, ok.

So much for that theory.

End of story.

...

What?

yahoo got a copy of...

an email.

From Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert to Stern.

The same Gilbert who watched his franchise player take his talents and his franchise to South Beach just last year.

Well the email read as such:

Commissioner,

It would be a travesty to allow the Lakers to acquire Chris Paul in the apparent trade being discussed.

This trade should go to a vote of the 29 owners of the Hornets.

Yada yada yada.

I just don’t see how we can allow this trade to happen.

I know the vast majority of owners feel the same way that I do.

When will we just change the name of 25 of the 30 teams to the Washington Generals?

Please advise….

Dan G.

Oh no he didn't.

He went Washington Generals on the Commish?

That’s just dirty.

True.

But dirty.

I suppose the NBA Spokesperson not named David Stern might’ve been wrong.

Well no matter the reason.

The done deal was undone.

This is not the first time a Commissioner has nixed a trade.

Probably won’t be the last.

But it certainly can change history.

My father worked for the Raiders all the way back in 1983.

This young whipper-snapper of a quarterback named Elway was coming out of college.

Stanford.

But he didn’t want to play for the Colts.

The Baltimore Colts.

The team with the first pick in that draft.

So he demanded a trade.

A trade that the Colts worked out with the Raiders.

Only NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle had a problem with Elway going to the Raiders.

Or someone not named Dan Gilbert had a problem with Elway going to the Raiders.

Or a problem with the trade.

Or a problem with Al Davis.

But the bottom line is Rozelle put the kibosh on that deal.

Most of the specifics have left me in last 28 years.

My dad left me nine years ago.

So we aren’t going to get more details than that.

But the bottom line is instead of Elway wearing Silver and Black into the Hall of Fame.

Elway was traded to a team in the Raiders division.

The Broncos.

Where he (eventually) won two Super Bowls.

At age 26, there’s still a good chance that Chris Paul may reach that Elway-esque status.

But it’s anyone’s guess what uniform he will be wearing.

The Fabric Of Our Life

The internet is an amazing place.

With a few clicks, you can see anything.

And I mean ANYTHING!

A few months ago, at 4:03pm, a friend sent me this amazing picture.

In case you can’t tell, these are 1300 boxing speed bags.

Shaped into the face of the great Muhammed Ali.

As soon as I got it, I forwarded it to another friend.

Who is a friend of Laila Ali.

Muhammed’s daughter.

(That’s the closest I get to greatness.)

99 minutes later, I got this reply:

That's pretty cool!

Sent from my iPhone

The reply was from Laila.

How cool is that.

I know somebody.

Who knows somebody.

Who knows Muhammed Ali.

Take that Kevin Bacon.

I’m sure that happens all the time.

But not to me.

My email inbox is loaded with all sorts of stuff.

Everything from enhancement opportunities. 

To more jokes than a night at the Comedy Store.

Most emails grab my attention for at least a second.

Sometimes two.

But I got an email a few days ago that I can’t get out of my mind.

It came from a close friend of mine.

Whose wife is a close friend of Alyce.

Not Muhammed Ali.

Just Alyce.

But Alyce is pretty great in her own way.

About nine months ago her husband was diagnosed with a rare form of kidney cancer.

Incurable kidney cancer.

According to Alyce, 100 people get this type of cancer every year.

That’s it.

And unfortunately her 47-year old husband is one of them.

“Needless to say, this is a sad sad house,” Alyce said.

And when you are the mother of nine-year-old twins.

And a 15-month-old baby.

...

...I don’t have the words to describe.

And I’m allegedly a writer.

When facing adversity -- in this case, the worst type.

Everyone copes their own way.

That is a personal choice.

But for Alyce, her choice was to go viral.

And for the last six months, she’s been posting her life on youtube.

For all to see.

Good.  Bad.  Sad.  Funny.  Sad.  Heartbreaking.

It’s all there.

Now I must warn you.

These videos have absolutely no production quality.

None.

Just a woman.

An unbelievably brave woman.

Sitting in front of a camera.

Many nights in a dark room.

Spilling the dark details.

Of her life.

No sugar coating.

No “everything is going to be fine.”

Alyce knows what is happening.

And she’s not afraid to show it.

If you make it through six seconds without a kleenex.

You are better than me.

Actually, you are less human than me.

Not every one of her videos is intended to be tearjerking.

But when you consider the reality, it’s impossible to hold in your emotions.

Alyce has been posting these blogs, all while taking care of a sick husband and three young kids.

And this is one open book.

Recently she admitted that her son has chosen to think his dad will be ok.

While his twin sister has had other thoughts.

“She wants to know when her dad is going to die.”

“She’s a planner,” Alyce said.

Both of the kids have been in therapy since finding out the terrible news in February.

And during one of those therapy sessions, the counselor recommended a project.

A project for the kids.

A project that could (hopefully) keep their mind on something other than what anyone’s mind would be on.

That project is making a quilt.

A quilt that family and friends could sign.

So when dad is cold, “he could wrap himself with everybody he loves.”

The goal is to deliver this quilt in January.

For his 48th birthday.

“The outpouring of love that is happening is incredible,” Alyce said.

So incredible, it got her daughter thinking.

She wondered if any famous people would sign this quilt.

In a nine-year-old’s mind, if a famous person would sign for her dad, that would show that people really do care.

So Alyce posted another video blog.

As she does every few days.

“I am so excited today.”

That’s how it started.

Then for the next eight minutes.

And 33 seconds.

She tells us about this idea.

This goal.

Of getting a celebrity to sign this quilt.

Any celebrity.

She mentioned some of her husband’s favorites.

Like “anybody from the movie Platoon.”

Or Kiefer Sutherland.

Or Shania Twain.

Or Toby Keith.

But deep down it was clearly less about the celebrity.

And more about her kids.

“I haven’t seen this kind of light from my daughter for a long time.”

About 30 minutes ago I got a link to Alyce’s latest video.

A video that shows Alyce with a giant smile.

At times.

Clearly overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed that Charlie Sheen is going to sign.

And that “all of the Chicago Bears” have signed.

Overwhelmed that people really do care.

Most important, she told us that her kids "feel empowered by what is going on.”

News that would make anybody smile.

But unfortunately that was not the only news that Alyce had to report.

Sunday she rushed her husband back to the hospital.

He was in more pain than she had ever seen him in.

“The cancer has spread.  And it hurts.”

The cancer is physically hurting him.

She then reminded us of the plans to give the quilt to her husband in January.

For his birthday.

Then she paused.

“But I don’t know.  I don’t know how much time.”

If you want to learn more about Alyce and her family, please visit: 

http://www.youtube.com/alyceiscurious

alyceiscurious@gmail.com

Breaking the News

There’s a reason why the late Walter Cronkite is a legend.

Well there’s a lot of reasons.

But perhaps the main reason is for like 120 years, he was the only game in town.

Ok, there were three games.

NBC, ABC and Cronkite’s CBS.

But back in the day if you wanted the news, Walter was it.

Only you had to wait until 6:30pm.

5:30 Central.

That’s the way it was.

None of this round-the-clock, graphic-on-top-of-graphic breaking news.

Just the news.

Real news.

Now I watch as much TV as the next guy.

And when it comes to the news these days.

I love the live police car chase.

And the up-to-the-second trips to the weather center.

And those real-time sports scores.

Forget about it.

I’ve never really been a newspaper fanatic.

Unless it came to sports.

Funny story.

I was in my early teens.

We had a visitor staying at the house.

I asked if he wanted to see the morning paper.

When he said yes, I brought him the sports section.

I was shocked -- if not appalled -- when he asked where the rest of the paper was.

"What else is there?, " I thought.

To myself.

Back then, nothing was better than getting your hands black and messy from the ink of the box scores.

Of course the internet has changed all that.

For the better.

Anything you want.

Up-to-the-millisecond.

With a few clicks.

Ichiro career at bats as a pinch-hitter?

11.

Hits.

1.

Tom Brady wins in the snow, ice or below-freezing temps?

18.

Losses.

2.

LeBron James NBA Championships?

Zero.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I didn’t need the internet for that.

But I do use the web for my news.

And these days, there’s one place I always start.

twitter.

It’s amazing what you can learn in 140 characters.

Or less.

Thanks to twitter I found out about the big east coast earthquake within seconds after it happened.

There were like a billion tweets before the world stopped shaking.

Ok, most of them were jokes.

And many of them were funny.

But I didn’t need Wolf Blitzer to tell me what was going on.

I just needed my iPhone.

Just today I was thumbing through my twitter app.

When I saw a tweet from @Denise_Richards.

She’s the one who escaped from Charlie Sheen Island.

I follow her.

With 2.1 million others.

Her tweet said:

EXTREMELY URGENT: #IN Shelter closing, all animals not adopted by 9/30 to be killed; pls RT http://hspcanimals.org/

Now I love dogs.

We have two.

And its a good thing we don’t live in Indiana.

Or we might now have three.

Or four.

But thankfully the word spread so quickly.

Within two hours all the animals were gone.

In the good way.

The thing about twitter is you can’t blink for a second or you might miss something important.

Like some @perezhilton gossip.

Or a restaurant update from @KevinsBBQJoints.

Or a great one liner from @DannyZuker.

Or something REALLY important from @ChristineCSE.

She, a self-proclaimed...

“bleeding heart liberal and sacred cow tipper who loves her leopard kitteh and wasted oodles of time engaging in economic wonkery.”

I’m one of her 79 followers.

Just an hour after Denise saved an animal shelter, Christine went on a quest of her own.

Tweeps - please write the GA Pardons & Paroles Board, tell them there is #toomuchdoubt to execute Troy Davis next week http://bit.ly/nkRC5R

I must admit when I read this I had never heard of Troy Davis.

Or this case.

But I have now.

Long story short.

Davis was convicted in 1991 of killing an off-duty police officer two years earlier.

He is scheduled to be executed in Georgia next Wednesday.

However.

Seven of the nine original witnesses have since recanted their statements.

And.

There has never been DNA evidence linking Davis to the crime.

And.

The murder weapon was never recovered. 

Hmmmmmm.

Davis’ execution has been postponed three times before.

The appeals have gone as far as the U.S. Supreme Court.

Former President Jimmy Carter has spoken out against the execution.

So has Pope Benedict XVI, SVU.

Now I certainly have no idea if Troy Davis committed this crime.

And based on what I’ve read the last few hours, I’m not sure if anyone does.

I’m guessing if Walter Cronkite was still doing the news.

He would’ve covered this story.

At 6:30pm.

But thanks to twitter -- and @ChristineCSE -- I was able to learn about this story.

Maybe before its too late.