You Live, You Learn

Time to put all of my post-its into one blog.  Enjoy!   

Sir Bacon

My father-in-law doesn’t like eggplant.

I learned that today.

He is Korean.

And Californian.

And is in town visiting.

During lunch he informed us that he doesn’t eat eggplant.

And hasn’t since 1952.

“That’s all we ate during the war,” he said.

And he got sick of it.

Sixty years ago.

It’s funny what you learn.

And when.

*****

I learned that you never know who you are going to meet at 7/11.

The other day the guy in front of me bought two packages of Marlboro 100s.

A Penthouse Magazine.

Face Down.

And a beef stick.

He told the cashier.

“I’ll bet you didn’t recognize me without my Wendy’s uniform on.”

Who knew Wendy’s paid so well.

*****

A few months back I took my family to see the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall.

My youngest daughter asked if my oldest daughter was going to be a Rockette one day.

My wife said, “she’s not going to be a Rockette.”

“She’s going to be a rocket.. scientist.”

*****

I spent an entire week in the barracks of Cooperstown with my son and his 12-year old baseball team.

I learned that one of the boys wants to be a youth pastor when he gets older.

He asked me who my favorite Christian artist was.

“Is Lil Wayne Christian?”, I responded.

How would I know.

I’m Jewish.

*****

I learned that time can erase a lot from your memory.

When I got to Cooperstown I had forgotten about a trip we made there when I was in my teens.

I was there with my mom, dad and brother.

It got so hot in our hotel, we opened a window.

A short time later, a bat flew in.

Not a baseball bat.

Even though we were in Cooperstown.

A real bat.

Dracula-ish bat.

While I dove under the covers, my brother smashed it with a tennis racket.

Like he was Bjorn Borg.

Brother-1, Bat-0.

*****

I learned that having a peanut allergy can be dangerous.

And humiliating.

When you walked in the mess tent in Cooperstown, there was a roped off area for the kids with a peanut allergy.

The thought was right.

But it looked like they were eating in jail.

*****

I learned that I really got along well with one of the dads.

Who is also an assistant coach.

“I wish we would’ve got to know each other better over the last five years,”  he told me.

“Because we are alike.”

The next thing I knew we were taking a shower together.

In the community shower.

With 10 other dads.

I’ve never met.

I learned that bathing suits were required in the boys showers.

But optional for the men.

*****

I learned that some men like shaving in the shower.

Even the community shower.

Even the guy who had more hair on his back.

Than he did on his face.

Or his head.

*****

I learned that Cooperstown Dreams Park is run by a dictator.

Those were his words.

Not mine.

I asked him why we couldn’t wear our own team hats with the uniform they provided.

“I don’t want the teams to look like a gigolo in Atlantic City.”

He also told us that the boys need to wear their pants pulled up to the knees.

So they don’t look like “thugs.”

Sir, Yes Sir!

*****

I learned that there is a new theatre for performing arts in Oneonta, New York.

“Good bands are coming this year,” I was told.

“The Wailers were just here -- Bob Marley’s old band.”

“Blue Oyster Cult is next.”

“Oooooooh”, I thought.

“I hope they play Burnin for You.”

Who's next, The Knack?