Under the Influence

I’m not much of a drinker.

Never really was.

Sure there were a couple of nights in high school.

And a few more in college.

Ok maybe a few more than a few more in college.

But somehow I made it to the other side.

Somehow.

Now I love an ice cold beer as much as the next guy.

At the right time.

Like at a football game.

Or on a hot day.

Or a random Wednesday afternoon.

But thankfully I’ve stayed away making it a daily ritual.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Drinking is usually not the issue.

It’s drinking in excess where trouble starts.

And once that trouble starts, it’s hard to make it stop.

As a parent of a 14, a 12 and an 8.

I’ve tried to be as up front with them as possible.

And that includes talking to them about alcohol.

And drugs.

And friends.

I’ve told them to surround themselves with people you can trust.

And the rest will work out.

Hopefully.

We’ll I didn’t tell them the hopefully part.

Right now my kids are at an age where drinking and drugs just don’t seem like a realistic possibility.

To them.

When I bring up the subject, they usually give me the... 

“Are you kidding dad, I will NEVER try those things” look.

The same look I probably gave my dad.

The same look my friend’s son probably gave him.

Gave him.

Past tense.

Monday night I was at a Halloween party when my iPhone started buzzing.

It was notifying me that a new email had arrived.

But what it didn’t prepare me for was what I was about to read.

The email was titled “truly sad”.

And when I opened it, I almost fell to the ground.

Literally.

The 18-year-old son of my friend was dead.

No other way to say it.

Dead.

The suspected cause of death was alcohol poisoning.

The boy spent Saturday night at a friend’s house.

And he never got up.

I don’t know any more than that.

And I really don't need to.

All that matters is that my friend will never see his son again.

Never.

My fingers are literally shaking as I type those words.

It’s been several days since I got the email.

And I still can’t believe it.

Having a daughter in high school now...

(Just saying that makes me cringe.)

Well having a daughter in high school now has forced me to think a lot more about reality than I used to.

And if I ever stop thinking about reality.

Stories like these kick me right in the gut.

Right next to the knot in my stomach.

Of course it’s hard to imagine that any of my three little angels will ever do anything that gets them in trouble.

But the statistics tell an entirely different story.

There are roughly 50,000 cases of alcohol poisoning reported in the United States each year.

And of those cases.

At least one person dies every week.

Every week.

Alcohol poisoning is caused by drinking large amounts of alcohol in a short period of time.

You may know it better by its cool name.

Binge drinking.

In a recent survey, 90% of the alcohol consumed by drinkers under 21 in the U.S. is in the form of binge drinks.

The proportion of current drinkers that binge is highest in the 18-to-20-year-old group (51%).

I could cut and paste all day.

Alcohol Poisoning.

Binge Drinking.

Episodic Excessive Drinking.

Call it whatever you want.

As a dad, I call it scary.

According to the 2010 National Survey on Drug Use and Health:

• 10 Million people, aged 12-20, reported drinking alcohol in the month leading up to the survey

• 6.5 Million of those aged 12-20 were binge drinkers

• 2 Million of those were heavy drinkers

I know 12-20 is a large group.

And there are a lot of groups within that large group.

But still.

And don’t forget you have to be 21 to purchase alcohol in the United States.

Yeah, right.

Of course, I am not so naive to think that it is hard for a minor to get a drink.

I did it.

In fact, I probably had my first beer before I had my first kiss.

But that’s not saying much.

Sadly the numbers show that underage drinking is on the rise.

But it’s not the numbers I’m thinking about at the moment.

It’s my friend.

I cannot possibly imagine how he feels.

And I pray that I never will.

Friday Night Frights

I made my daughter laugh last week.

Out loud.

No small feat.

Did I mention she's 14?

(If you have/had a 14-year-old, you can stop nodding now.)

It went a little something like this.

I was driving her carpool to high school.

She asked “are you excited about homecoming week?”

Before I heard the eek in week, I blurted out...

“OH YEAH. I LOVE HOMECOMING WEEK.”

Silence.

For two seconds.

That felt like two weeks.

I knew the question was directed at her friend in the back seat.

Not me.

But always the joker, I decided to bring a little extra comedy to the car at 7:04am.

Or at least try.

So I answered her question.

Loud and proud.

And this time it worked.

Fortunately.

She laughed.

Out loud.

Like twice.

Even her friend laughed.

Mission accomplished.

High school can be a very serious place.

Especially for a freshman.

But after a first day of jitters.

She's really enjoyed the ride.

Ok, it's only been a month.

But so far.

So good.

One of the first moves my daughter made was joining the freshman poms team.

You know.

The ones shaking the bouquets of plastic on the sideline at the football games.

Well some games.

At her school, the roles are clearly defined.

Varsity poms perform at varsity football games.

JV at JV.

And freshman at freshman.

With homecoming week now here, this is a big time for all three of the teams.

Yesterday my daughter's group got a chance to dance at the freshman football game.

My entire family went to watch her cheer.

And cheer her on.

Actually my son went to watch the game.

But we were all there to support.

And the team did great.

Well her team.

Big smiles.

Lots of cheering.

Lots of poms.

Lots of dancing.

Lots of acting.

Actually, LOTS of acting.

The freshman team lost 36-0.

But you never would've known it by watching the poms team.

Football is a great sport.

At any level.

I prefer the NFL.

College is a close second.

But you put two good high school teams on the same field.

And you've got yourself a Friday night.

My friend's son plays for one of those good high school teams.

A school that has won nine state championships.

And ten might not be that far away.

Through four games this year their record is 4-0.

They've outscored their opponents 135-40.

A great way to start his Senior season.

Probably the last year of his football career.

He was not blessed with GREAT size.

Or GREAT speed

Things they love at the next level.

But in high school you can get away without either.

And he's done plenty of getting away this year.

A 48-yard touchdown catch in game one.

A touchdown run in game two.

Four carries for 66 yards in game three.

Through four games, he has 231 yards on just 21 carries.

That's 11 yards per carry.

The NFL record is 6.4.

I know, I know.

High school vs NFL.

But still.

He had a great start to the game last Friday.

On his first rush, the 175-pounder raced 37 yards down the field.

The second longest run of his career.

He got seven yards on his next carry.

This was another blowout win for the good guys.

46-13.

His team was up big in the fourth quarter when they made a switch.

Switching my friend’s son from running back to fullback.

Instead of running the ball.

The teams leading rusher was now blocking for the guy running the ball.

A position he was not used to.

And a position he will never play again.

My friend’s son got caught up in a big time football collision trying to create a hole for his teammate.

So big that he didn’t get up.

Not right away.

He lost feeling in his arms and his legs for about five minutes.

Five lifetimes to his parents.

The boy was transported to a local hospital where he learned that he had fractured the T1 vertebrae in his neck.

That’s the good news.

If you call it good news.

Doctors say the break is expected to heal on its own.

He has to wear a neck brace for just two weeks and avoid contact for 2-3 months.

But at the end of that time, he should be fine.

Amazing considering what coulda been.

Unfortunately the boy’s football career is now over.

But thankfully he is far from done.

Lying in the hospital bed, he immediately set his sights on the spring.

When he plans on returning to the track team.

And that's something to cheer about.

Getting Schooled

High School was a wild ride for me.

Not in the Spicoli sense.

More in a revolving door kinda way.

9th Grade.

I graduated from a private Orthodox Hebrew Day School with eight classmates.

10th Grade.

I spent the first semester at a 3,000 student public high school in San Diego.

Midway through the year, we moved to New Jersey.

Where I became the new kid at Fort Lee High School.

11th Grade.

It was back to California.

And back to a 3,000 student public high school.

This time in Los Angeles.

That’s the school I eventually graduated from.

Eventually graduated... ha.   

That sounds funny.

Yes, I graduated on time.

Barely.

I wouldn’t say I was the greatest student.

But I did what had to be done.

Monday is a big day for my daughter.

It’s her first day of high school.

That officially makes me old.

But I don’t think I’ve seen her this excited in a while.

And this nervous too.

The unknown can be quite the mystery.

We spent most of Sunday talking about this next stop of her journey.

Hey, high school is a big deal.

Everybody wants to be popular.

And these grades actually do count.

Remember all that nonsense in elementary school.

“This will go do on your PERMANENT record.”

Hogwash.

There is no such thing as a permanent record in 4th grade.

(Hey don’t tell that to my two younger kids.)

But High School.

That’s a different story.

Being that Sunday was her last day before becoming an adult.

Or whatever high school students become.

I decided to take my daughter to my place of worship.

The place where I clear my mind.

The place where I have all good thoughts.

No, not church.

Silly.

The grocery store.

I really LOVE grocery shopping.

Always have.

Not sure what the exact appeal is.

But anytime anybody needs anything.

I am more than happy to go.

Although my wife has certainly learned that whether she needs one onion or 35 things.

It always takes me two hours.

Or more.

Hey I love the grocery store.

And Sunday was no different.

I think we arrived shortly before two.

And left ten minutes after four.

Yep, two hours.

Or more.

Now the fact that my fridge needed some food.

And my daughter needed some love.

This was the perfect opportunity to mix church and steak.

We walked up and down every aisle.

Reading labels.

And talking about her life.

Every time I asked what she feared.

She had no answer.

And what was it that she was most excited about.

No answer.

And what was it...

Well, it didn’t matter the question.

She didn’t have the answer.

But at one point she did announce.

“This is my last day as a real kid.”

At which point I became teary eyed.

And speechless.

No small feat.

I can remember entering my new high school.

Three different times.

And every time I was thinking the same thing.

“When is lunch?”

Ok, seriously.

Yes high school scared the hell out of me.

But I certainly had no idea the things that I would be learning.

Especially outside of class.

My San Diego high school was the first time I saw my peers smoking.

My New Jersey high school was the first time I was offered drugs.

My Los Angeles high school was the first time I had a drink.

High school was a growing up experience for me.

To say the least.

And that was 19 years ago.

I can only imagine what she will learn these days.

The good news is that unlike me, learning is very important to her.

And she is a great student.

If you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe her schedule.

• Honors Biology
• Honors English
• AP Human Geography
• Geometry
• Spanish

With P.E. and Ceramics mixed in there.

The only Honors I got in high school was when I was voted Most Zany.

In my Senior year.

It certainly makes me sad that my little girl is not so little anymore.

But I am equally excited about her taking this next step in her life.

I know that this night before Day 1 will be tough.

For her.

But once they start talking about Isosceles trapezoids.

I'm thinking everything will be just fine.