Showing posts with label Shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shopping. Show all posts

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Getting Schooled


High School was a wild ride for me.
Not in the Spicoli sense.
More in a revolving door kinda way.
9th Grade.
I graduated from a private Orthodox Hebrew Day School with eight classmates.
10th Grade.
I spent the first semester at a 3,000 student public high school in San Diego.
Midway through the year, we moved to New Jersey.
Where I became the new kid at Fort Lee High School.
11th Grade.
It was back to California.
And back to a 3,000 student public high school.
This time in Los Angeles.
That’s the school I eventually graduated from.
Eventually graduated... ha.   
That sounds funny.
Yes, I graduated on time.
Barely.
I wouldn’t say I was the greatest student.
But I did what had to be done.
Monday is a big day for my daughter.
It’s her first day of high school.
That officially makes me old.
But I don’t think I’ve seen her this excited in a while.
And this nervous too.
The unknown can be quite the mystery.
We spent most of Sunday talking about this next stop of her journey.
Hey, high school is a big deal.
Everybody wants to be popular.
And these grades actually do count.
Remember all that nonsense in elementary school.
“This will go do on your PERMANENT record.”
Hogwash.
There is no such thing as a permanent record in 4th grade.
(Hey don’t tell that to my two younger kids.)
But High School.
That’s a different story.
Being that Sunday was her last day before becoming an adult.
Or whatever high school students become.
I decided to take my daughter to my place of worship.
The place where I clear my mind.
The place where I have all good thoughts.
No, not church.
Silly.
The grocery store.
I really LOVE grocery shopping.
Always have.
Not sure what the exact appeal is.
But anytime anybody needs anything.
I am more than happy to go.
Although my wife has certainly learned that whether she needs one onion or 35 things.
It always takes me two hours.
Or more.

Hey I love the grocery store.

And Sunday was no different.
I think we arrived shortly before two.
And left ten minutes after four.
Yep, two hours.
Or more.
Now the fact that my fridge needed some food.
And my daughter needed some love.
This was the perfect opportunity to mix church and steak.
We walked up and down every aisle.

Reading labels.

And talking about her life.

Every time I asked what she feared.
She had no answer.
And what was it that she was most excited about.
No answer.
And what was it...
Well, it didn’t matter the question.
She didn’t have the answer.
But at one point she did announce.
“This is my last day as a real kid.”
At which point I became teary eyed.
And speechless.
No small feat.
I can remember entering my new high school.
Three different times.
And every time I was thinking the same thing.
“When is lunch?”
Ok, seriously.
Yes high school scared the hell out of me.
But I certainly had no idea the things that I would be learning.
Especially outside of class.
My San Diego high school was the first time I saw my peers smoking.
My New Jersey high school was the first time I was offered drugs.
My Los Angeles high school was the first time I had a drink.
High school was a growing up experience for me.
To say the least.
And that was 19 years ago.
I can only imagine what she will learn these days.
The good news is that unlike me, learning is very important to her.
And she is a great student.
If you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe her schedule.
  • Honors Biology
  • Honors English
  • AP Human Geography
  • Geometry
  • Spanish
With P.E. and Ceramics mixed in there.

The only Honors I got in high school was when I was voted Most Zany.

In my Senior year.
It certainly makes me sad that my little girl is not so little anymore.
But I am equally excited about her taking this next step in her life.
I know that this night before Day 1 will be tough.

For her.

But once they start talking about Isosceles trapezoids.
I'm thinking everything will be just fine.


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Malling It Over


Shannen Doherty.
The “it” girl.
Circa 1993.
Thanks to a little zip code in Southern California.
Circa 90210.
But she wasn’t done there.
It just felt like it.
Doherty parlayed her role as Brenda Walsh into a movie career.
Ok.
A brief career.
Her 15 minutes of movie fame was more like three-and-a-half.
But she did movies.
Like the classic Rebel Highway in 1994.
Later that year she played Margaret.
In the epic Margaret Mitchell Story.
I guess you could say after leaving Beverly Hills, Doherty’s popularity was gone with the wind.
But in 1995 she got the role of a lifetime.
As Rene.
In a Kevin Smith production called "Mallrats."
Ok, not exactly Casablanca.
Or even Ishtar.
But as someone in the prime demographic for Mallrats.
At the time.
I paid my $5.
Or whatever it was.
Kevin Smith was fresh off his big debut called Clerks.
A very funny film about life in a convenience store.
For Mallrats, the story didn't change much.
Just the location.
From 7/11...
...to a mall.
At the time, a mall was THE place to hang out.
The Galleria in LA.
The Woodfield Mall in Illinois.
And some fictional mall in New Joysey.
Where Mallrats was centered.
I don't get a chance to spend much time in a mall these days.
But I did on Sunday.
The biggest mall in our area.
Not the 522+ stores they have at The Mall of America in Minnesota.
But it'll do.
At the end of the school year, my wife (the teacher) got a class gift card.
A card we could only spend at this local mall.
So we went.
My 14-year daughter starts high school in a couple of weeks.
And even more important than text books.
She needed clothes.
Cool clothes.
And based on the signs on the window, we must've been in the right place.
At the right time.
You couldn’t walk three feet without seeing a sale sign.
Or a clearance sign.
Or some sign that said SHOP HERE.
In every way possible.
Now I feel good about my creative writing.
But these sale writers have got me beat.
By a lot.
They’ve come up with 75 ways to say the same thing:


Hot Summer Sale at Skechers.
Huge Savings at GNC.
Sizzling Clearance Saving at Claires.
It’s hot!

It's huge!

It’s sizzling!I better hurry before it cools down.



Sale In Progress at Johnston and Murphy.
Semi-Annual Sale at Clarks.
Limited Time Only at Cache.
Limited time..  
Um... uh...  oh...
STOP PRESSURING ME!


Season Finale at Janie and Jack.
Last Call Sale at Nieman Marcus.
Last Chance at BCBGMAXAZRIA.
I gotta remember to use BCBGMAXAZRIA the next time I play Scrabble.
Quadruple word score.
40% off your purchase at The Gap.
Take an additional 50% off redlines at Abercrombie & Fitch.
Take an EXTRA 50% off at Talbots.
50% off clothes.
That are marked up by 300%.
Priceless.
Extra 20% if I open a Macy's Credit Card.
20% off...
That’ll help pay for the 30% interest rate on the credit card.
Soda refills at Subway are free.  Today only.
Soda refills at the Greek Restaurant... .75.
Note to self...
Get food at the Greek Restaurant.
Get drinks at Subway.
Next season on sale now at Nordstrom.
First they sell 2011 cars in 2010.
Now this.
What is the world coming to?

This mall pressure is way too much for anyone to handle.

ENOUGH ALREADY!

Well even with all the pressure, we still had a very successful day at the mall.
Spending every single penny on that gift card.
And $7.98 more.
Such a deal.