Defying Gravity... and the Odds

My clock stopped today.

For two hours and 45 minutes.

It wasn’t a battery problem or anything like that.

It was more like time standing still.

That’s because, today...

... I WON THE WICKED LOTTERY!!!!!!!

Really.

After striking out on Saturday Night, I highlighted today’s matinee to give it another try.

I figured it would be my best odds, since most normal people work during the day.

Math was always my specialty.

So I dragged my abnormal butt back to the Gershwin Theater to enter the contest.

A contest that awards about 20 front row tickets to lottery winners before every show.

Sure, it costs $26.25 per ticket, if you win.

But that beats the $200+ the people paid one row behind me.

Even during working hours, there must’ve been at least 100 people who showed up to enter the drawing.

At 11:40ish, I wrote my name on a green index card.

At 12:05ish, my name was called out.

From the moment the man running the lottery mispronounced my name, everything changed.

I know that sounds really silly, borderline idiotic, but something felt really special about winning this contest.

Yes, I do realize that I did not become an instant billionaire.

And yes, I do realize that this is “just” a play.

Even if this play has been performed on Broadway nearly 3,000 times.

Even if these are still the hottest tickets in Manhattan.

Even if the tickets were in THE FRONT ROW.

However, since the script to my life turned from comedy to drama recently, I’ve been in need of a boost.

And this shot of vitamin-W might have just done the trick.

There was definitely an extra hop in my step after winning the golden ticket.

Kind of like the time my buddy Dave and I bet on a long shot at the track.

Because we liked the name.

To this day, just mention “Flying Julia”, and you’ll get a giant smile from both of us.

Even if we don’t remember how much we really won.

I’m sure over time I will forget how much I paid for today’s ticket.

But I will never forget where I sat.

For nearly three hours, “the best Broadway show of the decade” was right in front of me.

Literally.

Sure, my neck is a little sore right now, but it was worth it.

For those of you who have seen Wicked, stop drooling.

For those of you who have not, OMG.

The music, the story, the sets.

This is the most excited I have been to see a green person since The Great Gazoo.

And I was so close that I could actually hear them sing.

Without the mics.

I hate to go all Ebert on you, but.........

The brilliance of this play is taking a story that EVERYBODY has seen and finding a way to make it unique.

Even my seven-year old has seen the Wizard of Oz.

Sure, Michael Jackson tried to ease on down the road.

But what the creators of Wicked have done can be summed up in three words.

Uh-maze-ing.

They weaved in the tin man.

And the lion.

And the scarecrow.

And even Dorothy.

But this story was as fresh as the first time I saw it.

Well, that was today.

But my friend Rick has seen it six times and he told me that if it was playing in his hometown tonight, he’d go again.

I’ve been really fortunate to see a lot of Broadway plays in my life.

And ranking them would be near impossible.

But let’s just say that once you sit in the front row, there’s nowhere to go but backwards.

Now I’m not really sure how much time I have left on this lucky streak, so I made sure to buy a ticket for the next real lottery drawing.

The winner gets $14 million.

I know what I'd do with the first $200.

Wicked Awesome

Saturday night I did not win the New York Lottery.

I didn’t even buy a ticket.

But I did enter a competition with a prize package so exciting, it would make Bob Barker blush.

It’s called The Wicked Lottery.

As I learned Saturday, two hours before every production of Wicked, the legendary Broadway play, they hold a lottery where they award approximately 20 tickets to lucky fans.

Location of the seats?

Orchestra.

Front of the stage.

Cost?

$26.25 per ticket.

Say What?

Just click your heels three times and cross your fingers... and toes.   

To get as close to the Wicked Witch as Dorothy did, all you need is $26.25, in cash, and a little luck.

Well, a lot of luck.

I just happened to be walking by the Gershwin Theater, between 50th & 51st, around 5:50pm Saturday night.

I saw a crowd of what must’ve been at least 200 people.

So, like any tourist, I stopped.

As I got closer to the main entrance, I noticed a line at a table.

So I waited in that line.

When I got to the front, I put my name on a green index card, along with the number of tickets I would want if I win.

One.

Now this is not just any play we are talking about here.

This is Wicked.

The 17th longest running show in Broadway history.

HISTORY.

And at the rate they are selling tickets these days, its not gonna stop there.

More than five million people have seen the show on Broadway since it opened in 2003.

The show grosses more than a million dollars every week.

Last November, Wicked became the first show in Broadway history to gross over two million dollars in a week.

In all, Wicked is only the third musical in Broadway history to pass five hundred million dollars in total gross.

That’ll buy a lot of brooms.

Back to the lottery.

So I show up at the table to fill out my index card.

You would’ve thought the Soup Nazi was running the show.

Or Corey Hart.

This guy, wearing sunglasses at night, was barking out instructions like he didn’t want us to be there.

“Fill out the card.   Your full name and number of tickets you want.  You need cash and an I.D. with you..   When you are done, stand behind that green line.”

“YOU NEED CASH AND AN I.D. WITH YOU.”

He said it twice.

Everybody got the same exact treatment.

“Fill out the card.   Your full name and number of tickets you want.  You need cash and an I.D. with you..   When you are done, stand behind that green line.”

“YOU NEED CASH AND AN I.D. WITH YOU.”

Then at 6:00pm, SHARP, he closed the double glass doors to stop anyone else from entering.

Prepped the lottery wheel, which contained all of the index cards, and started spinning.

About five minutes later he came out and yelled at us.

“THANK YOU FOR COMING.   IF YOUR NAME IS CALLED, COME UP AND STAND TO MY RIGHT WITH YOUR I.D. AND CASH IN HAND.”

“IF YOU FILLED OUT TWO INDEX CARDS AND ARE CAUGHT, YOU WILL BE ESCORTED OFF THE PREMISES.”

Wow.

He’s just plain wicked.

Thank you, thank you very much.  

One-by-one, the names are announced.

And one-by-one, a sharp screetch is heard coming from somewhere in the crowd.

About three minutes later, the last name is called.

Without any mention of me.

Or at least 190 others.

At this point, all of the losers look around and mutter something like, “I never win these things.”

Meanwhile, a handful of people are standing in front of us with smiles so big their face is about to crack.

The winners await their golden ticket, while the rest of us move on.

Waiting for the next show.

And the next lottery.