Guise and Dolls

Spending money on your kids is easy.

Spending money in New York is even easier.

Spending money on your kids in New York.

Fuhgeddaboudit.

Really, forget about it.

Last week my family and I spent a few precious hours on 5th Avenue -- one of the richest streets in the world.

The home of banks and jewelry stores.

Tiffany’s and Trump Towers.

And the American Girl store.

When it comes to spending money, the American Girl store has taken things to an entirely different level.

American Girl is a company that makes dolls.

$95 dolls.   

Plus tax.

If this blog sounds like an advertisement, it should.

For a mental hospital.

At the store we had the option to purchase everything from $16 Ice Skates to a $250 Tree House.

$16 Ice Skates.

FOR A DOLL!

And that’s just the beginning.

$8 eye glasses.

$14 boots.

$20 lunchbox.

$34 wheelchair.

$48 Cello.

Let me remind you, these items are made for a piece of wood.

Or porcelain.

Or gold or whatever the dolls are made of.

Inside the 5th Avenue store you can make a stop at the American Girl Doll Hair Salon.

Actually it’s pronounced the Dollar Salon.

For $20 one of the specialists will braid the doll’s hair.

$14 will get the ears pierced.

The DOLL’S ears.

Now if it sounds like I am anti-American Girl, that may be true.

But somehow both of my daughters have ended up with their own doll.

And they LOVE them.  So I love them too.

Thank God for grandparents.

My 13-year old brought her five-year old American Girl doll named Marisol with her to the store.

Marisol was the Girl of the Year in 2005.

Girls of the Year are only for sale for that year.

These people are marketing geniuses.

Geniuses I tell ya.

Well, our hair stylist was so excited to see the classic Marisol, she offered to brush the doll’s hair for free.

BRUSH THE DOLL'S HAIR!   For free?   Oh, great idea.

She said before brushing, you need to wet the hair.

“You could use Evian if you want”, she said.

But she preferred something called “New York Tap.”

In the chair next to Marisol was a doll getting her hair cut.

Seriously.

You can’t make this stuff up.

And there was a line ten deep waiting to get into the salon.

Not to mention the hundreds of customers walking around the store. 

This is definitely an equal opportunity doll company too.

They build dolls for the black, the white, the red and the brown, the purple and yellow.

But it’s the green these people are really after.

After all, can you imagine the rent for a four-floor building on 5th Avenue?

There are currently 16 character dolls and 49 look-alike dolls.

Plus the “bitty babies”, the slightly less-expensive offspring of the American Girl.

The character dolls represent a place and a time in history.

Josefina is the Hispanic doll.  Ivy is Asian.  Addy is Black.  Rebecca is Jewish.

Julie is Blonde.

There is no bias here.

They each come with outfits too... that you can buy.

Shoes...  $12.

Pajamas... $24.

Yoga Gear... $30.

Or you can get all three for $66. 

I did the math myself.

No discounts here.

Plus, you can buy matching outfits your daughter can take home with her to look exactly like her doll.

We bought a $24 dollar shirt for my seven-year old daughter and a $10 matching tee for her doll.

But that was it.

This time.

Somehow we got off pretty easy.

I asked one of the cashiers the most anybody has ever spent in the store.

They told me that someone spent $700.

Yesterday.

But “that’s pretty normal.”

In addition to the Doll Hair Salon, they also have a Doll Hospital.

My wife said we couldn’t afford to go there, because we didn’t have doll insurance.

I actually believed her the first few times she said it.

Eventually I picked up that she was making a little doll humor.

Every so often, some of the character dolls are retired.

This year it’s Felicity and Elizabeth.

RIP.

My son informed me that “they retire dolls so more people buy them.”

There’s hope for him after all.

But don’t worry, there’s still a little time to make a move.

As the poster in the building said:

“It’s the last holiday to bring these best friends home -- soon, they’ll move into the American Girl Archives.”

Now how much would you pay?