F Bombs and Hand Grenades

Father of the Year 2011.

That’s me.

Recently I took a giant step in that direction.

There we were, surfin’ the net.

My seven-year old daughter and I.

We decided to stop by YouTube.

Actually, I decided to stop there.

And not by accident.

You see, she loves to sing.

Anything.

And recently she’s been belting out “Grenade” by Bruno Mars.

Every time she belts.

I record.

Yada yada yada.

There is a video of her singing “Grenade” on YouTube.

Moments after we arrived at YouTube, I clicked on her video.

Her smile extended from ear to ear.

We watched it once with the family.

Then we watched it again.

And again.

Loving it more and more with each click.

Eventually my eyes started wandering.

And I noticed, on the right side of our screen, a column that said...

...If you liked “that” video, you’ll love “these” videos.

Or something like that.

How could we pass that up?

The suggestion at the top of that list was the real Grenade video.

By the real Bruno Mars.

Whose real name is Peter Gene Hernandez.

So I clicked on it.

My daughter loved Bruno’s video.

As did I.

I’m guessing they had a wee bigger budget than us.

Just a guess.

But for my money, I'll still take Isabella.

Any day of the week.

And yes, that’s her real name.

Now if you’ve successfully found my little 'ole blog.

I’m guessing you’ve successfully stopped at YouTube before.

Once or many times.

So you probably have a pretty good idea of how addicting it can be.

You can really get lost in there.

Kinda like Ikea.

You go for one flimsy Swedish desk.

And you end up with that desk.

A new bookcase.

A computer stand.

An EKTORP Sofa.

And one overinflated credit card bill.

Well YouTube is no different.

Minus the credit card bill.

We went to see one video.

An hour later, we were still there.

There was some girl singing “I kissed a lobster and I liked it.”

She had like 13 billion hits.

They’ve got babies burping.

And movie trailers.

And kids playing Guitar Hero.

The place is amazing.

Actually, its a maze.   

No ing.

A maze you can never leave.

While we were watching Mr. Mars, I noticed the new suggestions on the right side had changed.

This time at the top was the OFFICIAL video for that great song by Cee Lo Green.

If you listen to Radio Disney, you know the song as “Forget You”.

If you listen to Satellite Radio, you know the song as “F.U.”.

Well, let’s just say the OFFICIAL name of that song is neither.

True, it begins with an F.

And it’s followed by three letters.

And it rhymes with Duck.

This is where the father of the year part comes in.

My daughter saw the suggestion nearly as quickly I did.

And she saw “that word.”

Now most responsible parents would have distracted their seven-year old.

Turned off the computer.

And sprinted directly into therapy.

Me?

Not so much.

You see, we both love music.

We both love that song.

And we both have heard “that word” a thousand times.

Actually, I’ve said it.

She’s heard it.

Sorry.

Hey, it’s not my fault.

My parents introduced me to “that word” at a very young age too.

In fact, my mom told me a story about the first time I used it in a sentence.

At age four.

Allegedly, I asked my parents what my father’s name was in Hebrew.

And they replied.

Yitzhak.

“Oh,” I said.

“Yitzhak... as in F---?”

Yep.

That’s allegedly what I said.

Minus the “---” part.

I was really good at vocabulary.

Hey, I turned out just fine.

So when this OFFICIAL Cee Lo Green song came up, I figured... hey, it’s art.

And art is good.

Right?

How much harm could a little music video do?

So Isabella and I watched it.

And we danced.

And she giggled.

A few times.

At the right times.

And at the end of the song.

She smirked.

She told me she loved the video, but she didn't like the words he used.

"I just don't get why people write songs that have bad words in them," she said.

"Are they just trying to get arrested?"

I asked her if it was bad that I showed it to her.

"I won't tell anybody," she said.

Then she locked her mouth with an imaginary key.

And threw the key away.

Where do I pick up my award?

(If you want to see Isabella's video CLICK HERE.)