Twistin By The Pool

My wife is not much of a sports fan.

Sure, she likes to bet the coin flip in the Super Bowl.

But she doesn’t know who is playing.

And yes, she loves going to the ballpark.

For the nachos.

But she couldn’t name five current NHL players if you gave her 50 guesses.

Then again, neither could I.

Ok, maybe five.

Several years ago we went to Shea Stadium to see a Mets game.

And she brought a book.

And she read it.

Really.

Well, it was the Mets.

My wife has never claimed to love sports.

But she’s not afraid to give her opinion.

Exhibit A -- the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

I can remember her telling me in the early 90‘s that the Bucs will NEVER win.

Not as long as their logo is a guy with a feather plume in his hat.

In 1997, the pathetic Buccaneers, one of the worst franchises in NFL history, changed that logo.

From the plume to a pirate.

A white pirate skull with two crossed swords.

Five years later the Buccaneers were Super Bowl Champions.

Coincidence?

I think not.

Let’s be honest, you are just not getting that type of analysis anywhere else.

Wednesday night was a big night in my house.

For my son and I.

This was the night we got to fill out our NCAA Tournament brackets.

We analyzed the games.

And picked the teams we expect to win.

Ten minutes later we were done.

Normally I only join one pool.

But this year is different.

I signed up for the one I always enter --- $25 for a chance to win three billion.

Plus I joined one for a local radio station --- if I win I get a year supply of Lite Beer.

And pool #3 is a fundraiser for my son’s baseball team.

I figured I could sign my wife up to do that one.

Hey, it's for the kids.

But those picks were going to be all her.

No help from me.

Not that I’m a lot of help.

So she sat down at the computer and started clicking on games.

I think it is fair to say that she knows nothing about college basketball.

Maybe more like, absolutely nothing.

But when it comes to making picks for March Madness, that might actually be an advantage.

For example.

I can tell you Vanderbilt has made it to the tourney in four of the last five years.

She can tell you Gloria Vanderbilt made a great pair of jeans.

For those reasons, we both have them winning their first game.

I can tell you Jimmer Fredette is one of the most exciting players in college basketball.

She can tell you a number of the parents in her first grade class are Mormon.

For those reasons, we both have BYU going to the Great Eight.

I picked Kansas State because I like their coach.

She picked Kansas State because Kansas is the first name of the school.

And she heard Kansas has a good team.

Now we didn’t agree on everything.

I picked Belmont, because they hit a lot of 3’s.

She picked Wisconsin, because they make great cheese.

When it got down to the tough picks, she asked the tough questions.

“Is this men or women?”

“They have field goals?  I thought that was football.”

“Are turnovers good or bad?”

Ok.

Now let’s be honest here.

Even though I follow the games.

And one could possibly think I know a wee bit more about this topic than she.

There is a zero percent chance I’m going to finish ahead of her.

That’s a fact.

Somehow we both ended up with the same exact Final Four.

Ohio State.

Kansas.

Duke.

Pittsburgh.

Maybe that’s because they are the four #1 seeds.

Or maybe.

Just maybe.

Great minds think alike.

But she struggled with picking Pitt.

“Isn’t that a football town?”, she asked.

Yes.

Yes it is.

Now when it came time to pick the tournament winner, we both took our time.

I eventually flipped a coin and took Kansas over Ohio State.

She broke down the stats and saw that the Jayhawks average more points, more assists, more rebounds and more steals than the Buckeyes.

Advantage Kansas.

After all that, we both ended up in the same exact place.

I guess the lesson here is it doesn't matter how you get there.

As long as you know who makes good jeans.

And good cheese.