March Badness

We are approaching the best time of the year.

Well, the best time of year to be a sports fan.

Ok, there are at least 35 “best times of the year” to be a sports fan.

But honestly, is there anything better than the NCAA College Basketball Tournament?

The Madness of March.

Well, nothing better in March.

And it is not just the basketball.

It’s the gambling.

Every March, most of us spend more time in a pool than Michael Phelps.

We pick like 500 games.

Played by schools we have barely heard of.

Played by players we have never heard of.

And we love every single tenth of a second of it.

Take last year.

Up until last March, my favorite Butler was Robert Guillaume.

But after last year’s tourney, how could you not love the Butler Bulldogs?

They put the OMG in Cinderella.

The same can't be said for my alma mater.

We have made the NCAA Tournament.

Twice.

And we have won.

Exactly never.

But for those forty minutes, actually eighty minutes, there was nothing better.

I’m not sure where basketball ranks on my list of favorite sports.

But in March, it’s #1.

I love the tournament.

I love the NBA.

And I certainly love watching my 12-year old son play.

It’s his team that is tough to watch.

We are one Amanda Whurlitzer away from being the Bad News Bears.

Or Bad News Bulls.

Ok, half of the kids are not so bad.

But half of our kids act like have never touched a ball before.

Never seen one either.

They play like they just fell out of the womb ten minutes before practice.

Sure this is “just” Rec League ball.

And winning is not the most important thing.

At least that’s what they want you to think.

But it is killing my son to be part of team that has more losses than Bernie Madoff’s rolodex.

One game was so bad, they made the scorekeeper turn the scoreboard off when we fell behind by 30 points.

With like five minutes left.

Really.

League rule.

Most teams don’t score 30 in a game.

And yet somehow we lost by more than 30.

....But wait, there’s more.

During a time-out of like game #5 or 6 this year, one of the kids asked the coach how many periods we were playing.

The coach responded with “seven-and-a-half.”

The boy thought that was cool.

And he also thought it was true too.

Late in another game, during a second half huddle, one of the boys said he had cramps.

And he wanted to know what to do.

One of his teammates responded, “eat more bananas.”

Makes sense.

I guess.

The coach told the boy “maybe you should come to practice more often.”

That made sense too.

During the two-month season, somehow we managed to win two games.

Back-to-back even.

During the middle of the season.

Now there are stretches where we look pretty darn good.

Those stretches usually last 4-to-5 seconds.

But if you watch closely, even that seems like an accident. 

I realize this will sound like the proud papa, but my son is definitely one of the better players on the team.

Now that’s not really saying much.

But we certainly believe that being “the star” on a bad team can still help his confidence.

But it doesn’t mean it will help his focus.

After one of our (many) losses, a few weeks ago. 

He notified me of a major foul he committed.

He wore his shorts backwards.

“No problem,” he reported.

“Did you know if you wear your shorts backwards and you get a wedgie, you can stick your hands in your pockets and get rid of the wedgie?”

Um.   No.

I did not know that.

I was hoping this season he would learn the 2-1-2 defense.

Or the pick and roll.

But hey, learning is learning.

Tomorrow is the playoffs.

And we qualified.

Thanks to those back-to-back wins, great attitude and amazing work ethic.

Oh and the fact that we paid the entry fee.

But either way, if we win, we advance to next week.

If we lose, the season is over.

Just like the big boys.