Mass Confusion

“I don’t care if we cure your kidney cancer.”

“I care that your kidney cancer doesn’t kill you.”

Those, the exact words of my mother’s radiologist.

After a wait that felt like forever, we finally got into the doctor’s office yesterday.

And that’s when we heard the news we didn’t want to hear.

My 81-year old mother has kidney cancer.

The meeting yesterday came nearly seven weeks after doctors found a mass on her right kidney during a cat scan.

Even with yesterday’s news, the doctors remain very optimistic that we still have options.

And that’s all any of us can ever hope for.

Options.

They explained that they have the option of burning off the tumor.

That’s called a Radio Frequency Ablation.

They have the option of freezing the tumor.

That’s called Cryoablation.

I think.

They can shoot alcohol directly into the tumor to wipe it out.

That’s called...

...shooting alcohol directly into the tumor.

They can take the entire kidney out.

That’s why we have two.

Or they can do nothing.

Come back in six months.

See if this thing has grown.

And go from there.

When we first arrived in the exam room the nurse practitioner came in to get things started.

She put on a brave smile and started talking.

She made a point to call the tumor a “mass”.

Except for the couple of times she called it a tumor.

Then she quickly corrected herself.

Calling it a mass.

When I asked a question about the kidney, she answered almost immediately.

She said something like, “pretend the kidney was a football and if you only treat the part with the laces, then....”

Football?

What page is that in the handbook?

-- If man asks question, quickly make sports reference.

After about 15 minutes, the doctor came in.

Considering she probably does this type of thing way too many times every day, there wasn’t a whole lot of foreplay.

There were no references to a “mass”.

Just tumor.

She whipped out the x-ray to show us where everything was.

She then told us based on where the mass, I mean tumor is located, some options are not a real option.

They’d rather not try to freeze the tumor.

Since it is close to some other body part.

And not too far from the spine.

The same goes for burning it off.

She said removing that kidney is still an option.

But not a good option.

Considering they are talking about an 81-year old patient.

So that left us with two.

Alcohol injection or nothing.

I must say considering the heavy news we had just been dealt, there was a whole lot of optimism in the room.

At least for me.

Hearing the doctor explain the facts the way she did made me feel encouraged about my mother’s future.

And very confident in the people who will be treating her.

Biology was not my best subject in college.

Either time I took it.

But when I’m not distracted by almost everything, I can be a pretty good listener.

Yesterday I heard every word they said.

I’m not sure the same can be said for my mom.

Long story short, she is scared.

And who wouldn’t be?

As I sat a foot away from her yesterday, I could feel her shake.

I could feel her pain.

I could feel her fear.

Nobody thinks that they are going to live forever.

But other than George Harrison, most of us are not ready to go.

And the good news is my mom is not going anywhere.

Not yet.

The doctors are going to talk again before suggesting the best plan for my mom.

Considering they don’t know how long this tumor has been there, leaving it alone might be the best thing to do.

I asked my mom if she would be comfortable with that.

I didn’t get much of an answer.