Thursday, August 18, 2011

Reality Bites


I’m not much of a reality TV guy.
And that clearly puts me in the minority.
Sure, I watched The Real World on MTV.
In the 90’s.
And I have a pretty good read on how that genre has changed the TV biz.
But as a viewer I just haven’t bit the hook.
Like so many others.
Ok, I’ve nibbled.
I watched an entire season of Biggest Loser.
Like five years ago.
And LOVED it.
But I never went back.
I watched season 2 or 3 of Big Brother.
But I just read they are now on Big Brother 13.
So I’m not sure that would qualify me as a fan.
I’ve dabbled in The Bachelor.
And Bachelorette.
And The Apprentice.

I am definitely excited about the return of Fear Factor.
But I could care less about Survivor: Abu Dhabi.
Or wherever they are headed next.
That’s just reality.
Other than American Idol, none of these shows have hooked me for more than a few months.
And with my love of music, I think American Idol is more of my fantasy than reality.
But you don’t need a degree from MIT to see how popular these shows are.
You just need the internet.
And an extra long keyboard.
http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/category/weekly-tv-ratings-rankings/nielsen-weekly-top-broadcast-tv-show-ratings/
That’s where I found the latest network ratings.
And in the much beloved “Adults 18-49 Demographic”.
It’s reality, reality, reality.
All the way down to #15.
That’s where 60 Minutes was listed.
To be totally fair, 60 Minutes was a re-run last week.
And to be more fairer, 60 Minutes was ranked 4th overall among “PrimeTime Broadcast Network Total Viewers (all ages)”.
But still.
And when I went to go look at the latest cable numbers.
Fuhgetaboutit.
The #1 cable show last week was Jersey Shore.
Season 4.
With 7.37 million viewers.
SEVEN MILLION VIEWERS!
Now let me come clean.
I have seen Jersey Shore.
About 10 minutes of a re-run.
About nine months ago.
It was the episode where they yelled at each other.
And then went to a bar.
And got drunk.
Have you seen it?
Well based on the ratings, you probably have.
Now I’m not trying to sound like some old fuddy duddy who doesn’t like to watch real people act stupid.
But isn’t that what CSPAN is for?
Somehow I’ve managed to avoid the reality onslaught.
But I can’t say the same for my wife and kids.
My DVR has been overtaken by.... Housewives.
Real Housewives.
Of New Jersey, Orange County, Beverly Hills.
Papillion, Nebraska.
Put “Real Housewives” in front of it and my 14-year old daughter is hooked.
And if she is hooked, the seven-year old can’t be far away.
They know all of the characters too.
(Are they really characters?)
And these damn shows are so damn addicting.
Usually I’ll walk by the TV.    See what they are watching.
Prepare to yell at them.
And then fall into a trance that won’t let me walk away for at least 35 minutes.
Can you believe what a bitch Kyle is?
Oh, sorry.
I suppose one of the nice things about these reality shows is.
They are real.
Real people.
Real stories.
Real drama.
And plenty of it.
But it’s all fun and games.
Until someone gets hurt. 
A few days ago we learned that Russell Armstrong, a Real Househusband of Beverly Hills, killed himself.
No joke.
The police said he was hung.
And they was right.
Honestly I don’t watch the show enough to even know who he is.
Was.
But my daughter does.
And when I broke the news to her about this story, she was shocked.
Shocked that he was dead.
Shocked that he took his own life.
Shocked that anyone would do such a thing.
At 14, she is not so naive.
She understands that these things do happen.
“But what would it take for somebody to do this to themself?” 
She said.
Then we spoke about Russell.
And Taylor, the real Housewife.
And their five-year old daughter Kennedy.
For a few moments.
But that conversation quickly moved into a discussion about life.
And death.
And why.
And what.

And how.
How could anyone do such a thing?
I’m not sure I had the answer to any of her questions.
But we talked.
And talked.
And it was real.
More real than anything you can watch on TV.

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