I am the Commissioner of my Fantasy Basketball league.
Have been since 1993.
When we started this league.
18 years later, we are stronger than ever.
We lasted longer than Shaq.
Even longer than Tom Gugliotta.
We’ve survived two lockouts.
We’ve had 44 owners.
And co-owners.
We have a rookie draft.
A waiver draft.
A pre-season auction.
International players.
Development league players.
Performance raises.
Three websites.
We play head-to-head.
And overall.
I could keep going.
But here’s the point.
As the Commissioner of this league, I take this thing very seriously.
We.. take this thing very seriously.
That’s probably why we’ve lasted this long.
We do everything we can to run our “fantasy” league exactly like the NBA runs its “real” league.
If you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe our eight-page rulebook.
FOR A FANTASY LEAGUE.
I’ve had more than a bundle of tough decisions over the years as the Commish.
But the goal is always to do what’s in the best interest of BART.
The Basketball Association of Rotisserie Teams.
I would imagine that NBA Commissioner David Stern tries to rule his league the same way.
Whatever is in the best interest of the NBA.
Well the NBA owners.
That’s why they locked out the players for 149 days, right?
Well as I type this here blog, Mr. Stern is submersed in a flaming hot whirlpool of controversy.
Or is it conspiracy?
Yesterday about this time, the story broke that the Los Angeles Lakers had made a trade.
A blockbuster trade.
A fantasy league trade.
They had acquired Chris Paul, the great.... young... STAR point guard they had been longing for.
To get him they gave up two very good players.
Very tall players.
Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom.
And by moving Gasol and Odom, the Lakers had depleted their lineup of a bunch of their bulk.
Some might even say they made their team worse.
This was certainly not a trade that guarantees them anything.
But clearly they felt that the combo platter of Paul and Kobe Bryant is exactly what they needed.
And who am I to argue.
The Los Angeles Lakers have won 11 championships.
My Dunkin’ Donuts have only won eight.
But something funny happened on the way to this deal getting done.
The NBA Commish stepped in from the home office in Manhattan.
And before the ink was dry, David Stern threw down the kibosh.
That’s yiddish for nix.
Veto.
Declination.
Pick a word.
The bottom line is this done deal was undone.
According to an NBA Spokesman not named David Stern:
“The league office declined to make the trade for basketball reasons.”
Basketball reasons?
Not sure what that exactly means, but the good people on twitter sure had fun with it:
Next time someone's credit isn't good enough to buy a car I'll deny them for basketball reasons. #NBA
BREAKING: David Stern blocks Dwight Howard trade that hasn't even been proposed yet. For basketball reasons.
I'm not going to work tomorrow for #BasketballReasons
Got pulled over and refused to give my license to the cop. He asked why I was refusing. #basketballreasons
Developing Story: NBA Commissioner David Stern vetoes Christmas. #basketballreasons
You can rest assure that the NBA hasn’t heard the end of their new catch phrase.
Like Charlie Sheen will never hear the end of... WINNING.
In fact, you can already buy a t-shirt to celebrate the moment.
And to make this worse for Stern, the reports came out, quickly, that this veto was all about peer pressure.
Apparently a handful of NBA Owners went sprinting to Stern to complain about this trade.
They were a little miffed that the first move after the let’s all have more competitive balance lockout was...
BULLY STEALS LUNCH MONEY & SUPERSTAR GUARD
And supposedly these owners demanded that this trade goes away.
Right effing now.
But the NBA quickly squashed that theory.
Or at least tried to.
“It’s not true that the owners killed that deal.”
Said the same NBA Spokesperson not named David Stern.
Oh, ok.
So much for that theory.
End of story.
...
What?
yahoo got a copy of...
an email.
From Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert to Stern.
The same Gilbert who watched his franchise player take his talents and his franchise to South Beach just last year.
Well the email read as such:
Commissioner,
It would be a travesty to allow the Lakers to acquire Chris Paul in the apparent trade being discussed.
This trade should go to a vote of the 29 owners of the Hornets.
Yada yada yada.
I just don’t see how we can allow this trade to happen.
I know the vast majority of owners feel the same way that I do.
When will we just change the name of 25 of the 30 teams to the Washington Generals?
Please advise….
Dan G.
Oh no he didn't.
He went Washington Generals on the Commish?
That’s just dirty.
True.
But dirty.
I suppose the NBA Spokesperson not named David Stern might’ve been wrong.
Well no matter the reason.
The done deal was undone.
This is not the first time a Commissioner has nixed a trade.
Probably won’t be the last.
But it certainly can change history.
My father worked for the Raiders all the way back in 1983.
This young whipper-snapper of a quarterback named Elway was coming out of college.
But he didn’t want to play for the Colts.
The Baltimore Colts.
The team with the first pick in that draft.
So he demanded a trade.
A trade that the Colts worked out with the Raiders.
Only NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle had a problem with Elway going to the Raiders.
Or someone not named Dan Gilbert had a problem with Elway going to the Raiders.
Or a problem with the trade.
Or a problem with Al Davis.
But the bottom line is Rozelle put the kibosh on that deal.
Most of the specifics have left me in last 28 years.
My dad left me nine years ago.
So we aren’t going to get more details than that.
But the bottom line is instead of Elway wearing Silver and Black into the Hall of Fame.
Elway was traded to a team in the Raiders division.
The Broncos.
Where he (eventually) won two Super Bowls.
At age 26, there’s still a good chance that Chris Paul may reach that Elway-esque status.
But it’s anyone’s guess what uniform he will be wearing.
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