The New York Nix

I am the Commissioner of my Fantasy Basketball league.

Have been since 1993.

When we started this league.

18 years later, we are stronger than ever.

We lasted longer than Shaq.

Even longer than Tom Gugliotta.

We’ve survived two lockouts.

We’ve had 44 owners.

And co-owners.

We have a rookie draft.

A waiver draft.

A pre-season auction.

International players.

Development league players.

Performance raises.

Three websites.

We play head-to-head.

And overall.

I could keep going.

But here’s the point.

As the Commissioner of this league, I take this thing very seriously.

We.. take this thing very seriously.

That’s probably why we’ve lasted this long.

We do everything we can to run our “fantasy” league exactly like the NBA runs its “real” league.

If you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe our eight-page rulebook.

FOR A FANTASY LEAGUE.

I’ve had more than a bundle of tough decisions over the years as the Commish.

But the goal is always to do what’s in the best interest of BART.

The Basketball Association of Rotisserie Teams.

I would imagine that NBA Commissioner David Stern tries to rule his league the same way.

Whatever is in the best interest of the NBA.

Well the NBA owners.

That’s why they locked out the players for 149 days, right?

Well as I type this here blog, Mr. Stern is submersed in a flaming hot whirlpool of controversy.

Or is it conspiracy?

Yesterday about this time, the story broke that the Los Angeles Lakers had made a trade.

A blockbuster trade.

A fantasy league trade.

They had acquired Chris Paul, the great.... young... STAR point guard they had been longing for.

To get him they gave up two very good players.

Very tall players.

Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom.

And by moving Gasol and Odom, the Lakers had depleted their lineup of a bunch of their bulk.

Some might even say they made their team worse.

This was certainly not a trade that guarantees them anything.

But clearly they felt that the combo platter of Paul and Kobe Bryant is exactly what they needed.

And who am I to argue.

The Los Angeles Lakers have won 11 championships.

My Dunkin’ Donuts have only won eight.

But something funny happened on the way to this deal getting done.

The NBA Commish stepped in from the home office in Manhattan.

And before the ink was dry, David Stern threw down the kibosh.

That’s yiddish for nix.

Veto.

Declination.

Pick a word.

The bottom line is this done deal was undone.

According to an NBA Spokesman not named David Stern:

“The league office declined to make the trade for basketball reasons.”

Basketball reasons?

Not sure what that exactly means, but the good people on twitter sure had fun with it:

@5joeclines

Next time someone's credit isn't good enough to buy a car I'll deny them for basketball reasons. #NBA

@russbengtson

BREAKING: David Stern blocks Dwight Howard trade that hasn't even been proposed yet. For basketball reasons.

@ShinaBina3

I'm not going to work tomorrow for #BasketballReasons

@caliretheory

Got pulled over and refused to give my license to the cop. He asked why I was refusing. #basketballreasons

@HousefromDC

Developing Story: NBA Commissioner David Stern vetoes Christmas. #basketballreasons

You can rest assure that the NBA hasn’t heard the end of their new catch phrase.

Like Charlie Sheen will never hear the end of... WINNING.

In fact, you can already buy a t-shirt to celebrate the moment.

And to make this worse for Stern, the reports came out, quickly, that this veto was all about peer pressure.

Apparently a handful of NBA Owners went sprinting to Stern to complain about this trade.

They were a little miffed that the first move after the let’s all have more competitive balance lockout was...

BULLY STEALS LUNCH MONEY & SUPERSTAR GUARD

And supposedly these owners demanded that this trade goes away.

Right effing now.

But the NBA quickly squashed that theory.

Or at least tried to.

“It’s not true that the owners killed that deal.”

Said the same NBA Spokesperson not named David Stern.

Oh, ok.

So much for that theory.

End of story.

...

What?

yahoo got a copy of...

an email.

From Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert to Stern.

The same Gilbert who watched his franchise player take his talents and his franchise to South Beach just last year.

Well the email read as such:

Commissioner,

It would be a travesty to allow the Lakers to acquire Chris Paul in the apparent trade being discussed.

This trade should go to a vote of the 29 owners of the Hornets.

Yada yada yada.

I just don’t see how we can allow this trade to happen.

I know the vast majority of owners feel the same way that I do.

When will we just change the name of 25 of the 30 teams to the Washington Generals?

Please advise….

Dan G.

Oh no he didn't.

He went Washington Generals on the Commish?

That’s just dirty.

True.

But dirty.

I suppose the NBA Spokesperson not named David Stern might’ve been wrong.

Well no matter the reason.

The done deal was undone.

This is not the first time a Commissioner has nixed a trade.

Probably won’t be the last.

But it certainly can change history.

My father worked for the Raiders all the way back in 1983.

This young whipper-snapper of a quarterback named Elway was coming out of college.

Stanford.

But he didn’t want to play for the Colts.

The Baltimore Colts.

The team with the first pick in that draft.

So he demanded a trade.

A trade that the Colts worked out with the Raiders.

Only NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle had a problem with Elway going to the Raiders.

Or someone not named Dan Gilbert had a problem with Elway going to the Raiders.

Or a problem with the trade.

Or a problem with Al Davis.

But the bottom line is Rozelle put the kibosh on that deal.

Most of the specifics have left me in last 28 years.

My dad left me nine years ago.

So we aren’t going to get more details than that.

But the bottom line is instead of Elway wearing Silver and Black into the Hall of Fame.

Elway was traded to a team in the Raiders division.

The Broncos.

Where he (eventually) won two Super Bowls.

At age 26, there’s still a good chance that Chris Paul may reach that Elway-esque status.

But it’s anyone’s guess what uniform he will be wearing.

It's Tebow Time

How can you not love Tim Tebow.

He’s the Sanjaya of the NFL.

No matter what he does.

He wins.

No matter how he does it.

He wins.

No matter how many experts say what a loser he is.

He wins.

Now as a diehard Raiders fan, I’m not really wild about having such a winner in our division.

But this guy is truly something.

Terrible.

Erratic.

Brutal

Odious.

Wretched.

That’s Tebow.

But at the end of the game.

He just beat you.

Somehow.

And nobody can really explain how he does it.

Not me.

Not the broadcasters.

Not his coaches.

But today I found a higher source that must know something that none of us do.

My iPhone.

When I went to send a text with Tebow’s name in it, my iPhone told me that Tebow is not a word.

It suggested changing “Tebow” to “Renown”.

As in “a state of being widely acclaimed or highly honored.”

Now that’s a smart phone.

Tim Tebow might’ve been great at throwing a football through a tire at the Florida Fairground.

But in the NFL, he can barely complete a pass.

Last week in Kansas City he threw the ball eight times.

In the entire game.

Completed two.

As in One.

And Two.

That’s it.

That’s 25% for those of you without a calculator.

Those two passes went for a grand total of 69 yards.

Tom Brady does that in two minutes.

Tim Tebow does that in a game.

For most quarterbacks, 69 passing yards in a game would equal a trip to the Arena Football League.

For Tim Tebow it meant a win.

Another win.

His third win in four weeks since becoming the starter.

Wins against the pathetic Miami Dolphins.

The enigmatic Oakland Raiders.

And those anemic Chiefs from Kansas City.

But in the NFL, a win is a win.

And right now Tebow is piling them up.

Like a stack of pancakes at IHOP.

His latest conquest came Thursday night in Denver.

Against the not-so-high flying Jets of New York.

For 55 minutes, Tebow was his usual terrible self.

15 passes.

Six completions.

69 yards.

The same exact 69 yards he threw for one week earlier.

When he beat the Chiefs.

But the game is not 55 minutes long.

It’s 60.

And in the last five minutes, Tebow did what Tebow do.

Win.

He led the Broncos on a where-in-the-hell-did-this-come-from 95-yard drive.

From one side of the field.

To the other.

Running the final 20 yards.

Into the end zone.

For the game-winning touchdown.

Again.

Watching a Denver quarterback rally his team to victory in the final minutes of a game is nothing new.

John Elway made a career of it.

But Tim Tebow is no John Elway.

He is better.

Hey, that’s not me talking.

That’s the numbers.

In his first eight starts, John Elway had a record of 3-5.

With three touchdowns.

And 10 interceptions.

In his first eight starts, Tim Tebow has a record of 5-3.

With 10 touchdowns.

And four interceptions.

Wait, there’s more.

In his entire career -- you know, those eight starts (plus two in relief).

Tebow has rallied the Broncos back from 10+ points in the fourth quarter to win three times.

In his 234 games, Elway -- the Hall of Famer -- rallied the Broncos back from 10+ points in the fourth quarter.

Twice.

Now you don’t need 3D glasses to see that the style of Tebow and the style of Elway have absolutely nothing in common.

Nothing.

But at the end of the day, they both know how to win.

And now they are attached at the hip.

When Tebow reached the end zone to win the game on Thursday night.

The first thing the TV broadcast did was cut to a shot of Big John.

In his luxury suite.

Wearing his new hat as the Executive VP of Football Operations for the Broncos.

Tebow’s Broncos.

Elway was clapping.

And almost smiling.

But let’s be honest.

Tim Tebow winning in Denver is the last thing that John Elway expected when he took the job in January.

And if I were a gambling man, I would double down that Elway doesn’t believe that Tebow can win a Super Bowl.

But after the last month, there is a 0.0 chance Elway will be able to get rid of Tebow at the end of the year.

As he had planned.

And with TebowMania running wild, there is a 0.0 chance Elway will select his franchise quarterback in the next draft.

As he had planned.

But Tebow Time is not just a Denver story anymore.

It's the best story to happen to the NFL in years.

And that's something that nobody expected.