It's All Working Out

10:25am.

This morning.

I woke up.

Hallelujah!

Sure, I went to bed at 2am.

But I always go to bed at 2am.

It’s the fact that I didn’t wake up at 5 that I’m excited about.

And the fact that I did it on my own.

My problems have not disappeared.

And they won’t for a while.

But it’s amazing what a little deep breath will do for you.

NOT TOO MUCH... or you’ll start hallucinating.

I mean hyperventilating.

Whatever.

The point is, a deep breath can go a long way.

One of my most loyalestest of readers was kind enough to offer up some sincere support and an over-the-counter remedy to help me sleep.

I thank you for all of the support, but so far, I have passed on the remedy.

I think its the idea that scares me more than the product.

But either way, I’m doing my best to move forward.

One day at a time.

My good friend David is not a pharmacist, but he too offered up a prescription a few weeks ago.

This one I filled.

He said while I am in New York for the month I should join a gym.  

Forget this stationary bike in the basement nonsense.

Good call.

To this point, I’d been using street walking and that bike as my source of exercise.

And so far so good.

Considering my amazing/disgusting amount of caloric intake, I easily could’ve gained 20 pounds in the three months I was here.

Hey, I could’ve gained 20 pounds EACH month I was here.

But somehow I kept it to five, total.

Or eight.

Depending on what time of day I jump on the scale.

But the fact that I have avoided a double-digit increase is the type of victory that deserves another slice of pizza.

With just a few more weeks left in New York, including the Thanksgiving Feast, it is more important now than ever to bump up the workout regimen.

Insert the local gym.

There are three things that don’t take a whole lot of work to find in Manhattan -- street meat, Starbucks and a local gym.

Affording that gym is another story.

Being that I only needed one month of service, I felt pretty good about my chances.

After all, how bad could it be?

So I walked around my neighborhood and stopped at the place where they are always handing out flyers.

This time they were promoting a deal of $19.99/month.

Perfect.

I only need one month.

So I walked in, gave them my vitals and said I only want to sign up for one month.

Whoa.......

You would’ve thought I was asking for a free yoga mat or something.

He loudly informed that WE DON'T DO ONE MONTH AT A TIME, then whispered that their competition across the street does.

In fact, the “other guys” have some $30 for 30 day thing going on right now.

Talk about free advertising.

Perfect.

So I headed over there, ready to go.

Filled out the form.  Name.  Address.  Phone Number.  First born.

Ok, that’ll be $89 for signing up, $79 for the month, $5 for towel fee and three billion for something else.

Really.

Ok, not the three billion part, but the rest is true.

Huh?

What happened to 30 for 30?

“Oh, that’s online,” she said.

Ok.

So, how about I sign up with the computer that is right in front of you.

Oh, “you can’t do that.”

Huh?

“So how about if I sign up at home and then come back.”

“That would be fine,” she said.

So I did.  

And yada yada yada, I’m back to life on the elliptical machine -- every day, 45 minutes a day.

It’s amazing what a little exercise can do for the mind.

And the belt buckle.

Pizza anyone?