Math By Chocolate

My wife asked me to buy three bags of Hershey Chocolate Kisses for her yesterday.

She wanted to make sure her first grade students remembered Valentine’s Day.

And that they never forget their first kiss.

So I headed over to the local supermarket.

Like Toucan Sam, I followed my nose.

To Aisle 16.

And when I got there, I had more choices than a Chinese buffet.

The small bag of kisses was on sale.

Two for $5.

The medium size bag was not.

One for $5.

And then there was the giant bag.

One for $9.

Now this was not my first rodeo.

Or my first trip down Aisle 16.

When my wife asks for three bags of kisses.

She means three bags of kisses.

But if there is something she loves, it’s a good deal.

Me too.

With all those options, I counted on my 11th Grade Geometry to find a solution.

I quickly figured out that for $10, I could get four of the 9.5 ounce bags of Hershey Kisses that are on sale.

38 ounces for $10.

Or for $10, I could get two of the 19.75 ounce bags that were not on sale.

39.5 ounces for $10.

Or for $9, I could get one 40 ounce bag.

40 ounces for $9.

Let’s see here.... 

Yep, 40 beats 39.5.

Every time.

Unless you are playing golf.

Plus I’m taking home an extra buck.

Such a deal.

It’s not everyday I get to use those math skills of mine.

Actually, I should say...

It’s not everyday the problems are that simple.

I figured out a long time before Jeff Foxworthy that I am no longer smarter than a fifth grader.

I am reminded of that every night when I watch my kids do their homework.

My sixth grade son asked me for a little help last week with his math homework.

On page six of the parent handbook, it says, “never let them see you sweat”.

Well, the person who wrote that never saw my kids’ homework.

You thought Egypt had problems.

These are problems.

At least for me.

Thankfully, I’ve got an ace in the hole.

My high school buddy and still best pal Phil moonlights as a math tutor.

Convincing unmotivated high school students how to add.

Probably a little subtraction too.

So when my son asked me how to figure out question #21, I did what any good father would do.

I took a picture of the problem with my iPhone and emailed it to Phil.

Within a few minutes, Phil and my son were speaking jibberish.

Or Calculus.

Or something that was more over my head than the Space Shuttle.

Thankfully, when their conversation ended, my son had an answer to #21.

And #25.

Now I’m not nearly as dumb as I sound.

Or as I look.

I got a 700 on the SAT.

Let’s try that again.

I got a 700 on the SAT Math.

And that comes in real handy when I’m helping my second grader with her math homework.

Martha had a half-dozen hair ribbons.  She lost one.  How many hair ribbons does Martha have left?

I love those problems.

But it has been a LONG time since I spent five seconds thinking about the commutative property of multiplication.

Or the Pythagorean Theorem.

You want to know what Steve Garvey hit in 1978.

.316.

That’s math, right?

Now I love it that the kids are being challenged.

And I love it that they think they know more than me.

Even if it’s true.

But what I really love is saving that dollar on the extra half ounce of chocolate kisses.

That's a skill you just can't teach.