Monday, May 16, 2011

Playing The Field

I love me my field trips.
I loved them as a kid.
And I really love them as a parent.
And no, they don't all need to be eight days in Washington DC, like the last one.
Yes, they won't all be eight days in Washington DC, like the last one.
But I’ll go anywhere.
I love riding on the bus with the kids.
Just listening to them talk.
Because they do in fact say the darndest things.
In DC, one of the chaperone moms told her daughter... “I loved shopping at Christmas this year.  There was no snow.”
To which the child responded, “you did all of your shopping online.”
Kids won’t let you get away with anything.
And as a chaperone it was our job to return the favor.
Exhibit A -- we had a 7/11 right next to our hotel.
And every night we'd head over there with the kids to get them snacks.
The last night of the trip all the boys wanted to stay up all night.
Of course they did.
They are boys.
And for just a couple of bucks these 14 year olds could buy five hours worth of energy.
In a tiny little bottle.

So they tried.
One by one.
And one by one my old fashioned Jewish guilt stopped each of them.
There was this one boy, whose mom was on the trip with us.
But not at 7/11 with us.
I said, "would your mom let you have that?"
"Um."
"No."
"Well then put it back."
Which he did.
If it was only... always that easy.
Recently I went with my son and his sixth grade class on a field trip to the local aquarium.
It’s a very cool aquarium with a bunch of cool looking fish.
And a Bengal Tiger.
Really?
Not sure why a tiger would be in an aquarium?
Me neither. 
But we still enjoyed this trip.

Every step of the way.
We enjoyed it when one of the boys claimed he got bit by the sting ray in the petting pool.
Of course he did.
He’s a boy.
We enjoyed it when a bunch of kids stood close to the tank so they could get sprayed by the excess water.
So they could smell like excess fish tank water all day.
Of course they did.
Actually I have to give them a little mulligan on that one.
My friend Phil and I once sat in the front row at the Shamu show at Sea World so we could get drenched.
Drenched with Shamu’s pee water.
We later realized.
Smooth move on that one.
Well our day at the aquarium concluded with a trip through one of the back doors.
Which led us into a back room.
Which is where we got a chance to dissect a squid.
Well, they got a chance to dissect the squid.
I got a chance to hide in the corner and do everything in my power to avoid throwing up.
Well it wasn’t quite that bad.
But dissecting is not my passion.
I can remember in like fourth grade I dissected a frog.
I think it was already dead.
Well, when we got to the stomach, I opened it up and a beetle popped out.
I think it was Ringo.
(Sorry, that was too easy.)
But really a beetle popped out of the stomach and into my hand.
And at that exact moment, my dissecting career ended.
Fast forward to this year.
The aquarium lady leading the dissection gave the kids all sorts of direction and information.
Did you know that a close cousin of the squid is a cuttlefish?
Did you know that a mollusk has a hard shell, soft body and suction foot?
Did you know that a squid has no spine?
I used to work for a guy like that.
I thought he was a weasel.

Turns out he was a mollusk.
Who knew?
I love those field trips.


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